What To Fight For
by DustWriter
Summary: An original AU based on aimmyarrowshigh's stunningly beautiful and brilliant AU from "Dark Toast". If you haven't read it, do it now: /s/7294215/1/Five Loaves of Bread Dark Toast. My vision of a possible conclusion.
1. Chapter 1: Escape

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

Escape

Katniss awoke with a start at the pounding at the front door. Peeta's eyes were wide, meeting hers. The thumping was unrelenting and ominous. It was dark outside their windows. Her eyes flew to the bedside clock. Its red light read just past eleven o'clock. Past mandatory curfew.

"Mellark! Peeta and Wife! Capital Peacekeeper! Answer the door!" the pounding grew louder.

Peeta leapt out of bed and dashed to their bedroom door. "Katniss, hide!" he hissed at her.

She looked around frantically. "Where?"

"Anywhere, Katniss!" his eyes begged her.

She dove out of bed and into her closet, pulling the door nearly closed but with a small gap to peek out. She saw Peeta exit their bedroom door and listed to his footsteps pad down their stairs to the front door. The landing light clicked on and a shaft of yellow darted across the floor.

She heard the door open. "Can I help you?" Peeta's voice was calm but strained.

"Mellark. Baker?" a gruff female voice asked.

"Yes, I'm Peeta Mellark. Is there a problem?"

"Where is your Spouse?"

Katniss heard Peeta falter. "She's asleep. She's…been very tired…with all the work for the upcoming Capital Presentation Awards."

There was no response from the officer. Katniss wondered if she was nodding or pulling a gun.

"Married six months?"

"Yes," Peeta answered. "Is there a problem? It's so late, I-"

"Has she been you been examined?"

"Examined?"

"For fertility. Unless she is expecting a child."

Her face felt as though on fire. "I don't believe we are," she heard Peeta answer. "I mean, I haven't asked. She could be, I mean-"  
>"She should report to her physician within the week, Mr. Mellark," the woman's voice broke in. Katniss heard clicking and beeping. "Just to be sure.<br>"Good night," the Peacekeeper said without feeling and walked away.

"You as well," Peeta threw back at her as an afterthought and closed the door.

Katniss slipped out of the closet and crawled to the top of the stairs. The air was chilled from the front door standing open in the winter night. Peeta was inside the front door, staring at the medical order in his hands. He looked up at her with fearful eyes.

She had been waiting for a night visit for the past three months. Every day when they woke up she wondered if today was the day she and Peeta would Disappear. Like Cinna and Portia.

They had slept on the floor inside the front door the night their Mentors had vanished, fully expecting to meet their death at any minute. The Peacekeepers that arrived the next morning must have been surprised at how quickly they answered the door, but they gave no indication of suspicion as they informed them that their Mentors had been reassigned and offered perfunctory congratulations that they were now promoted to their Mentors' positions. Katniss had sputtered in confusion, but Peeta was able to ask how they were ready after only a few short months; most Apprentices trained for two or more years. The Chief Peacekeeper said only they were clearly prepared or the Capital would not have seen fit to promote them. With that, she left the young couple standing on their doorstep with their loss.

Peeta had been ready. Working in the bakery at home in Twelve he had learned really all he needed to know before he had stepped foot in the Capital. The differences in culture came easily to him and he quickly had the shop running as if Portia was merely away on a vacation rather than dead at the hands of the Peacekeepers.

Katniss had struggled. At first the prep team watched her with jealousy and bitterness at her speedy ascension, but she learned to compliment and fawn over them until they were more than willing to help her. She had found early drawings of Cinna's in a storage room, clearly from his early work, maybe from his own Apprenticeship. The work was not as clean as his final works, but it was inspired. She was able to pass them off as her own for the time being. But she lived in fear of the day the designs ran out and she was discovered.

When the pounding at the door had come, she thought it was today.

Peeta cleared his throat and she came back to the present. She sat back on her heels and looked at him and the slip.

"What does it say?"

"The doctor's name and address. I guess they think we should be pregnant by now."

Six months. She had been married just six months, she counted. She was expected to be working on their Quota of Three within a year of marriage and she hadn't managed to get through their one attempt at sex together without panicking. She wasn't even close to pregnant.

"They can't…they can't tell, right?" he asked.

She knew what he was asking. If a physician could tell they hadn't been sleeping together. "I don't think so. I mean…we got far enough…" She paused. She realized she meant _she_ had gotten far enough. He wanted more. He would have gone further. But never without her consent. Or desire.

He exhaled fully and raked his fingers through his bedhead hair. He re-read the notice in his hands twenty more times, as though it would turn into something else.

She crawled back across the carpet into the bedroom. The low pile lightly burned her knees and the heels of her palms, but she knew she couldn't stand on her trembling legs.

She used the sheets to pull herself up to the bed and rolled in sideways, attempting to steady her erratic breathing as she pressed her face to the mattress with her eyes trained on the door. She was going to Disappear. She wondered if they'd take Peeta too.

She felt a shiver zip down her spine as he appeared in the doorway, his silhouette blurred and dim in the darkness. She watched him cross around to his side of the bed. As he sat, the shift in the mattress lifted her like a wave.

"Katniss?" His voice sounded frightened.

The lead encasing her body broke and she burst into tears, curling into herself. He lay down behind her and cocooned her in his arms, shushing and rocking her. She pulled herself from his grasp and rolled over to face him, letting him replace his arms and knot his fingers behind her shoulder blades.

"Shhh, shhh," he soothed, tucking her head under his chin and enveloping her fully.

Her mind raced in her burrow. She knew what she had to do.

She slipped her head out and brought her mouth to his. He kissed her gently, quickly. She forced her mouth to follow his when he tried to pull away. She needed him to know what she was asking.

He brought a hand back to her cheek to stop her. "No," he said softly.

"We have to. I have to," she insisted quietly.

He let go and rolled onto his back. "No, we'll figure something out."

Her voice cracked. "Peeta, please. I don't want to Disappear. I don't want you to Disappear because I didn't try."

She saw his eyes watching her in the darkness. He struggled to respond. "You shouldn't have to do something you don't want to."

"I want to."

"No, you don't."

"I do. Please."

He made no move to reach for her.

Shifting back, she grasped the hem of her nightgown and shakily pulled it over her head. It had been warm in the bed with him and she hadn't worn any undergarments. She felt his eyes linger on her bare skin. Her tremulous hands reached out and found his, pulling them to cover her breasts.

She heard his intake of breath and felt his hands twitch, betraying his eagerness to feel her again.

"I want to," she repeated, leaning over and kissing him again.

He pulled back. She could see the conflict for her safety against her trust raging within him. "Are you sure?" he ultimately whispered. She nodded.

"If you want to stop, we stop. Okay?" She nodded again.

He stood up and pulled off his shirt, and leaving his eyes on her, pushed his pants from his hips. Her eyes darted to him, and she thought she could see him blush.

He knelt back on the bed, leaning in and kissed her gently again. He guided her back down to the mattress and stretched out next to her, letting her rest her head on his left arm. His right hand roamed her body, outlining her collarbones, stroking her sternum, finally grazing her breast. She breathed in the sensation, reminding herself of the pleasure he'd given her and that she had nothing to fear at his hands. She looked up into his eyes and brought her left hand to stroke his face. She wanted him to use his mouth on her breast again so badly. She wanted to be able to ask for it. But she couldn't find the courage.

Her fingers must have gently twitched of their own account, because he smiled as he lowered his head to other nipple to gently tongue the electricity through her body. She groaned and gripped a fistful of hair, his name escaping her lips.

He kissed his way back up to her mouth and she felt his hand leave her breast and slide down her stomach. Her insides tensed as he traced her hipbone with his thumb; traveling ever lower and lower.

She willed herself not to, but she did flinch when he touched her. He pulled away and looked at her with concern.

She brushed it off, "Cold hands," she excused.

He smiled. "They'll be warm soon enough," he teased, replacing his hand on its journey.

He dipped a finger inside her and she moaned into his mouth as he moved back to kiss her. His thumb grazed over the tender flesh, searching and finding the spot that made her hips buck and grip his shoulder. Sliding another finger inside her, he began to work at her, rubbing and sliding and exploring. She began to writhe on the sheets. He pulled back so she could breathe and to watch her face in awe.

Reason was quickly slipping from her brain as she let him invade her senses. She stared back up at him and watched his infatuation at giving her pleasure.

She brought her fumbling hand to his abdomen, feeling the heat radiating of his soft skin. He wavered in his movements and glanced down to watch her slip her hand down to grasp his rising erection. She struggled to remember the diagrams from her classes, but ultimately decided to rely on his reactions.

She gently began to massage the flesh in her fist, sliding slowly back and forth. His fingers started their circles and rocking again, but his mouth was hanging open as he sucked in air. He began to pump his hips against her fist and she instinctually firmed her grip. The moan it elicited made her feel triumphant. It drove a quiver through that reached her core. She felt his hands moving freer and easier as her body readied itself.

He pulled away and she realized it was time. Fear bloomed inside her and she fought it, pushing it back down behind a dam. Would it hurt again? Would this lead to a child she would ultimately lose to a stranger in a far away District?

She opened her legs wider and he crawled over her leg to position himself. She raised her legs along her sides and he set his arms below the crook over knees. She felt his thickness brush her flesh and her stomach flip-flopped.

"Do you want to stop?" he whispered.

She shook her head. He looked her in the eye. "Keep going," she whispered back.

Holding himself steady, the inward push was slow. She felt the stretching sensation again, the sharp pinch but this time it melted more quickly into an uncomfortable pressure. She knew he was watching her closely. She closed her eyes and focused on the smell of the cinnamon and chocolate from his skin, the beads of sweat breaking forth from where his arms met the back of her legs, her shallow breathing.

"Keep going," she gasped again.

She felt the pressure retreat then barrel back inside her. It ebbed and flowed, strange and pleasurable and uncomfortable. She clutched the sheets in her fingers and listened to his gasping and grunting. The tide flowed faster and the pressure was building towards something big; something frightening. She left as though her body would be sucked into a black hole. As though she was disappearing.

She cried out and brought her hands up to cover her face as the tears rushed out and she was unable to dam them back. She felt Peeta withdraw quickly and pull away, exclamations leaving his mouth.

"Are you okay? Did I hurt you?" his alarmed voice was behind her fingers. He clicked on the light over their bed to see her. He pried her hands away from her eyes. "Did I hurt you?" his frightened eyes peered into her wet ones.

"I'm sorry, I panicked, I'm sorry," she pleaded. "Let's keep going."

"Katniss, you're crying. We're stopping," he said, reaching for his clothes on the floor.

"No!" she cried, sitting up against the ache and grabbing his arm. "We'll just cover my mouth," she begged, lacing her fingers through his and trying with all her inferior strength to pull him back on the mattress. The terror of Disappearing was outweighing her terror of fulfilling their Quota and desperation poured out. "Peeta, just put your hand over my mouth," she pleaded.

He yanked his hand away and his face was a mask of horror. "I'm not going to force myself on you!" he shouted at her. He turned away, and sat slumped on the edge of the bed.

She watched him try not to cry, his back towards her. He was so unlike anyone she'd ever known. Forcing her wasn't illegal or even uncivilized; as her Spouse he had every right to have her whenever in whatever way he wanted. But the only thing he'd ever wanted was for her to want him back.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to his shaking shoulders. "I know you wouldn't do that." She inched closer, afraid to anger him or hurt him. "I just want to give you this so badly," she began to cry again.

She pawed at his shoulders, aching for comfort. "Peeta," she whispered, "please don't be angry."

He turned around sharply and wrapped his arms around her tightly, pulling her over. She looped her arms around him and cried into his shoulder. He brought his lips to her ears and murmured, "I will never hurt you. Never. I will never make you do anything you don't want to. Never, Katniss." He shifted to look her in the eye. "Never."

He held her until her tears ebbed. He laid her back down and retrieved his clothes to pad off to the bathroom. She heard the water running and she stared up at the ceiling. She felt like she was floating in failure. She couldn't sate her husband. She couldn't meet her Quota. She hadn't learned her Vocation. And she still yearned for home, where she knew who she was. Where she was still her.

Peeta returned and she became conscious of the face she was still lying naked across their bed. She looked for where she'd dropped her nightgown when Peeta sat down next to her and she felt a warm washcloth sliding over her skin.

She sighed as he started at her forehead, gliding the cloth over her temples and around her neck. He traced her collarbones, then dipped the cloth in a small bowl of hot water and returned it to map out her breasts. He followed the outside of her legs, wiping the sweat from where their skin had met, then finally gently cleaned where they had been joined.

He set the bowl down and pulled her nightgown from the foot of the bed. She sat up and raised her arms, letting him pull it back over her head and shoulders. She adjusted to pull it back down to her knees.

He returned the washcloth and bowl to the bathroom before turning off the light and sliding in next to her.

He lay quietly on his side of the bed. She listened to him breathing. Loneliness washed over and she rolled over and lay her cheek on his chest. His arms moved immediately to hold her.

"We need to get out of here."  
>She stayed silent.<p>

"We should talk to Finnick. Find out where he sent Annie."

"He's coming to the studio tomorrow," she remembered. "For a fitting. I'll bring him to the bakery after."

"Tell him I'm making something as a good luck token. People have been ordering specialty desserts all month for their viewing parties," Peeta offered. "Finnick will know what to do."

They lapsed into silence, Peeta staring at the ceiling and Katniss staring at his face. Her heart ached. He would gladly have given her children as soon as possible. Used their Allowance to buy her gifts and the children toys. Doted over his family and minded only them, just as the Capital intended. She was just too afraid.

"We should go to sleep," he finally said, kissing the top of her head.

"Yes," she agreed.

They lay awake all night.

"I have arrived!" Finnick strode into the studio in a breeze of grandeur. Four attendants were fawning over him, speaking on handheld computer phones, taking his sunglasses from him, removing his garish fur coat, offering him water and fussing with his hair.

Katniss smiled as Cinna's – her – prep team oohed and aahed. She had invited them to assist her today, knowing their excitement over seeing such a celebrity would make them overlook her inability to properly measure a suit on a man.

"Mrs. Mellark!" He strutted over to her like a peacock, taking her hand and kissing it brazenly. "You are a vision of loveliness. Not unlike-" he winked towards the prep team "myself!" He laughed good-naturedly as the three assistants dissolved into childish giggles and his entourage laughed far too loudly at such a corny joke.

"It is a pleasure to serve you, Mr. Odair. Right this way, sir." She led him away, offering his entourage a seat in their lounge by a table fully stocked with luxurious treats and of course, alcohol. That should keep them very busy.

Finnick stripped to his underwear and donned the suit Cinna had been preparing since last year's awards. Once her prep team had stopped drooling over his form, they immediately took over as Katniss had hoped. She didn't have to do anything but nod and compliment their work. That was all they needed to do everything for her.

"We're all rooting for you to win Best Presenter, Mr. Odair. As if you had any competition," she demurred with a knowing smile.

"It is, of course, just an honor to be nominated," he replied, rolling his eyes. "As I am required to say."

She laughed politely. "My husband is especially a fan. I wonder if you would be so good as to let me escort you to his bakery after your fitting. He's been preparing a special good luck gift for you. I'd love to surprise him with a visit from you in person."

Finnick caught her eye over the pecking over the prep team. She dropped her smile and gave him an honest look of open panic. He nodded almost imperceptibly, then moved quickly back into his public persona.

"How could I refuse an offer from so lovely a stylist?" he cooed and she bowed her head in thanks.

Peeta set another plate of éclairs in front of Finnick's handlers and offered them more tea. They were already bloated with cookies and cakes, but eagerly stuck their sticky hands into the plate of pastries. "If I can get you anything, please do let me know," he smiled graciously.

He returned to Katniss and Finnick tucked in the room with the wide set of ovens, shutting the door to the seating area firmly.

"They want to check Katniss' fertility," Peeta leaned in, speaking quietly but clearly. "She's not safe here. They're watching her."

"It's not too uncommon," Finnick frowned. "I've heard of those sorts of tests. I mean, it's a little early. And it's not standard, but I don't think I'd worry."

"She's not going to get pregnant, though," Peeta rushed.

Finnick's eyebrows rose.

Peeta's cheeks darkened and he dropped his eyes. "We're not…" he stopped.

Katniss broke in, unable to face Peeta's humiliation. "I'm not ready for a child." Finnick looked unsure of what to say. "Finnick, they've been watching us."

He listened as she described the frequent check-ins at the studio, and didn't speak as Peeta described the stream of diplomats dropping by his bakery. He stood wordless and thoughtful.

He surprised them with a question. "How did you end up here?"

Katniss and Peeta exchanged a glance. "What do you mean? We were Contracted here."

"No, I mean do you have extraordinary talents? I can tell Peeta's pretty amazing with these treats, but Katniss – are you an extraordinary stylist?"

Her eyes betrayed her shock. "I can't even draw." She cleared her throat. "Something…strange…happened during the Contract ceremony."

Peeta and Finnick looked at her sharply.

"Peeta, do you remember? Right after Effie read my name and right before yours? That crunching noise the projector made? I've never heard that before at any year prior. And after us, the matches were all unusual. That fox-faced Researched and the Undertaker." She looked up at Finnick. "The whole thing was unlike other ceremonies, but I can't say how."

Finnick pursed his lips pensively. "Someone put you here. On purpose. I don't know why, but you're right. They're watching you."

"We've got to get her out tonight," Peeta insisted.

"Both of you," Finnick said. Peeta began to protest. "Yes, yes, I know you're worried about her but you can't protect her if you Disappear." Peeta was silenced. Finnick leaned in closer.

"There's been a lot of activity in the field. People who want to end this system for good. I don't know how you fit in with all this, but I'm going to get you to them. I'll get a hold of Alma. Go home immediately after work, I'll send someone to collect – the recipe for these amazing treats!" he suddenly shouted.

Katniss was startled and knew someone had walked in behind her. Peeta picked up the ball and ran. "Now, now, Mr. Odair, you know I can't share trade secrets."

"Mr. Odair, we really need to get going. Your hair care specialist won't wait forever!" whined the little man with the insipid bowtie carrying an electronic calendar.

Finnick feigned a wounded look. "It is so difficult to get good help, isn't it? Thank you for a lovely afternoon," he smiled as he strode back out to the seating area. He dropped his smile as he turned back to them. "I hope we meet again very, very soon."

And he was gone.

Katniss and Peeta sat silently at the kitchen table, their coats lying on the empty chairs. Peeta hadn't bothered to make dinner; neither of them had any appetite. Katniss watched Peeta's eyes flick over the door whenever footsteps passed by their window. His eyes met hers.

"Are you feeling all right?" he asked.

She nodded.

"Would you like some tea?"

She smiled. "No. Would you?"

He exhaled a laugh. "No." He took a breath and sighed. "We really should eat something. It could be a long-"

A knock came to the door.

"Go into the living room," he whispered, standing. Katniss hesitated, hating to leaving his side. He stopped at the front door, his hand on the knob to make sure she complied before opening the door. She peered around the archway to their foyer to see who was calling.

Mags.

Her greeting was incomprehensible, but she held up a piece of paper. Katniss stepped out from the shadows as Peeta closed the door behind the old woman. Taking the scrap from Mags, Katniss read it while Peeta peered over her shoulder. "We're to escort her to the hospital?"

"No," Peeta frowned. "The address is the next street over from my bakery, it's not the hospital. This could be the doctor's home. Mags," he said, turning back to her stooped form, "is this Dr. Aurelius trustworthy? He's a Capital doctor. I've seen him interviewed on television."

She nodded firmly, making eye contact with them both. She pulled her sleeve and showed a well-aged and deep scar, lined with the faded marks of neat stitches. She gestured to his name, then her arm again. She attempted to tell them how he had helped her, but all they could gather was it was very serious and he had saved her some time ago.

"We have to trust him, I suppose," Peeta sighed. "Let's go."

They set out with nothing but their coats – they couldn't take anything or risk being stopped. Already being out during Family Hour was risky; but they had the excuse of taking a frail old woman to a doctor friend of theirs. Even if they were stopped they could have the Peacekeeper escort them to Dr. Aurelius' house. Katniss hoped he would carry their lie if called upon.

Peeta led them down back alleys, looking out for anyone who could turn them in. Katniss kept spinning around, imagining they were being followed with every small noise.

Peeta motioned for Katniss to stay with Mags when they finally reached the corner before the address written in Finnick's tightly coiled handwriting on the scrap of paper, but Mags pushed past him right out into the street and up to a house with a vibrant red door. She pounded her shriveled fist four times.

Katniss grabbed Peeta's hand as they hurried to stand behind her, eyes darting up and down the street.

The door opened slowly.

A middle-aged man with a gentle face came into view.

"Mags! What a surprise to see you at this hour. Please come in, you must be in terrible pain for such a visit," he said looking over her head, taking in the frightened couple and the empty street. He shooed them inside, securing the door behind them.

"You must be the Mellarks," the doctor said, nodding curtly while helping Mags to an overstuffed chair by his fireplace. His house was larger than theirs, but essentially the same layout. The décor was much richer and he had clearly lived in the Capital for many years. Collections of medical textbooks lined his walls and certificates of accomplishment hung above a rich mahogany desk.

He turned back to them. "I'm Dr. Aurelius. I've been Finnick's personal physician for a number of years. I'll be delivering his son next month," he intoned, as though to let them know to trust him.

"They're watching my wife," Peeta blurted out. "They're going to try to take her away," he continued, clinging to Katniss' hands with his. She could hear the distress in his voice.

"You'll be leaving tonight. I have a courier leaving in an hour, they'll take you to-"

A loud knock was at the front door. No one moved.

"Aurelius! Physician! Capital Peacekeepers! Answer the door!"

"Go out the back door. Turn left. There's a garden with tall, sculpted topiaries at the end of the block. Hide there. Do not come back. I will find you."

Katniss was staring at his unmoving features when she felt Peeta pulling her to the back door. "What about Mags?"

"She'll be okay, Katniss," he said, opening the garden door as Dr. Aurelius turned to enter his foyer. "She has to stay so he has a reason why we were spotted here," he hurriedly explained in a shaking voice, quietly closing the door behind them. Taking her hand, they ran out of his beautifully arranged winter garden and down the darkened alley.

Katniss spotted the heads of the topiaries shaped into horses at the end of the block. They were standing high above the low garden gate. Peeta helped her over the wall and then hopped over. They crouched into the tall plants, their heavy breathing the only sound in the still night.

"Will he be all right?" she finally asked in a small voice.

Peeta paused before answering. "He's been helping Finnick for years. Maybe this has happened before."

She nodded, but wasn't sure she believed it.

They stayed still for a very long time. She couldn't tell how long they waited. The moon crawled through the frozen sky. Peeta took her hand and stroked the back of it with his thumb distractedly and his eyes searched the dark house they were hidden behind. Approaching footsteps made him grip her hand until it hurt.

"Mellark?" a whispering voice was outside the garden gate. Katniss and Peeta leaned silently out of the leaves, trying to make out the face without being seen. "Mellark and Everdeen?"

Katniss nearly fell over from her unsteady squatting position. How did this person know her former name? Peeta must have taken this as a sign. He put a hand on her shoulder, pushing her gently back into the shadows. "Who are you?" he whispered back.

"Name's Chaff. Work with Finnick. Friend of Haymitch Abernathy."

Peeta's eyes widened as they met Katniss'. They scrambled out of the flowerbed and into the pale moonlight.

A man about Haymitch's age was on the other side of the garden. He gestured for them to hop back over and Katniss saw why he had not jumped the gate to come in. He was missing his left hand. She wondered why briefly as she jumped down to stand next to him, but he didn't offer any more information as he motioned for them to follow.

They stole quickly into the night, blindly trusting the stranger who had come to them. Peeta kept glancing at Katniss, looking for escape routes in case he saw something strange or threatening. She did the same.

"Here!" rasped Chaff and ducked into an open cellar door. Peeta stopped at the entrance. It was too dark to see what lurked inside. Katniss was at his side and he blocked her step with his arm.

"What?" Chaff's face popped out of the doorway, still bathed in moonlight.

"What's down there?"

"A way out."

"Why should I believe you?" Peeta asked, honestly and with an edge of hostility. "You could be a Peacekeeper waiting to kill her." Or you, thought Katniss, watching him.

"With one hand? Do you know any Peacekeepers – any Capital citizens at all – with one hand?" Chaff stifled his laugh. Of course they didn't. Everyone in the Capital had to be perfect. "They'd kill me if they didn't already think I'd died during a train tunnel explosion."

Peeta didn't release Katniss. Chaff sighed, "Look, the alternative is you wait it out to see if anyone else stops by to help you."

Katniss leaned into Peeta's ear. "I think we should go," she whispered. He met her gaze. "He knows my family name. He knows more than we do."

Peeta nodded, but made sure his body was fully in front of hers as they followed Chaff into the darkness.

They descended stone steps and felt their way along the cellar floor, bumping into bottles and crates as they stepped. They heard Chaff moving nearby, the sound of scraping stone then they were ushered into a narrow pathway. Katniss realized there were going through a false wall as she heard it close with a solid _thunk_ behind them, sealing them in.

The pathway was pitch black and they stumbled along slowly, hands out to the wall to guide themselves. Peeta reached back in the inky dark and caught Katniss' forearm. She slipped his grip and moved forward to put both hands on his waist, looping her fingers through his belt. "I'm right here," she whispered. Holding tight to him, they followed the sound of Chaff's scraping feet for fifty yards.

Katniss felt Peeta stumbled then stop walking and she collided into him. Refusing to let go, she asked, "What's happened?"

"The floor. Something's…different."

"We're at the start of the station," said Chaff from ahead.

Blinding light overtook them and Katniss let go of Peeta's belt to shield her eyes.

"Sorry about that," Chaff said. "Forgot to warn you."

Their eyes adjusted and they turned back to see him at a light switch ten feet from them. The lights weren't truly that bright, but after the night outside and the pitch black of the tunnel they had been unprepared for electric light.

Katniss saw the tunnel behind them was uneven and rough-hewn. There was a secret tunnel running from the cellar to what lay before them: a neatly laid pathway that looked like the stones from the train station when they arrived.

"This was the original terminal of the Capital train station. I was working on it twenty years ago when an explosion took out the rest of the tunnel. Lost my hand. Most of my crew. They thought I was dead. But Doc – Aurelius – found me alive. Sewed up this stump. Gave me a chance to finish out this tunnel for what we need it for. A way out."

He took three flashlights off a hook on the wall. Katniss saw at least fifty more hooks with a hundred flashlights lining the wall. Boxes of canned goods lined the floor. Enough for a small army. "Let's go."

They walked for hours on end down an abandoned track. Their eyes grew accustomed to the darkness broken only by their flashlight beams. Their footsteps echoed away from them, but did not bounce back. Katniss' stomach ached with hunger and she twice saw Peeta rubbing his own midsection. Their fatigue was overcoming the fear that had killed their appetite. She felt she hadn't eaten in days rather than hours. It could very well be morning by now.

"Ah! Here we are," said Chaff. Katniss brought her light forward.

"It's a dead end," Peeta finished for her.

"Only if you don't know where to look," Chaff grinned at them. He ducked to the side and they noticed a metal vent grate near the floor to their left. Pulling a strange key from his pocket, Chaff unlocked a false screw and it popped open.

"After you," he offered.

Peeta climbed through the narrow grate first and then his hands reappeared to pull Katniss through. Chaff brought up the rear; pulling the grate closed after them until he was satisfied it relocked behind him.

They were in a large water drainage pipe. The smell of fresh winter air and thin morning light was waiting at the opening a few hundred feet away.

The three fugitives rushed towards the opening. Chaff got in front and motioned for them to be silent as they reached the edge. He peered out carefully.

"This way!" Chaff motioned, and hopped out of the pipe, taking off in a slow jog.

"How does he have the energy? We've been walking all night," moaned Peeta.

Katniss smiled. "Come on," she said, pushing him towards the exit.

Stepping out of the pipe, Katniss gasped. They were outside the Capital.

There were sparse woods around them and dried winter grass poking up from untended fallen leaves. As she stepped down into the grass, she turned around. They had descended through the mountain in the night and were outside the Capital walls.

They were free.

She inhaled the forest air and for just a moment, was surrounded by the woods at home; bow in hand with Gale at her side.

Chaff was waiting at the edge of what were once the train tracks. They should have been rusted and destroyed, but were clearly in use. An old, many-times repaired handcar rested on the track.

"Always glad when I have someone else to help move this thing," Chaff winked at Peeta, who sighed and lifted Katniss up onto the seat. Climbing up, he took the handle opposite Chaff and they began to roll the cart down the track as it lead into the thickening woods ahead.

The trees rolled by as the cart moved. Katniss felt her eyelids dragging down. She looked up at Peeta as he worked, watching his strong shoulders strain as he pushed and pulled the handle. He looked back at her and smiled as he began to sweat.

"Thank you," she said, smiling back.

"For what?" he grunted, pushing down on the handle.

"For everything," she said, closing her eyes and sighing gratefully. She turned back to look at the passing trees, then cried out in alarm.

"Stop! Someone's out there!" she attempted to stand, but stumbled and had to catch herself.

"Good," said Chaff, huffing when Peeta stopped working the other end of the pump handle. "We're getting close."

"Close to what?" asked Peeta as he helped Katniss back to the seat and resumed his spot at the handle.

"Base."

Katniss had begun to see faces among the trees, some masked, most camouflaged, watching them. She saw guns and weapons, none raised when they saw Chaff as their guide. She realized she had no idea what was waiting for her and Peeta in their newfound freedom.

It was another twenty minutes before they stopped.

Small, hand-built structures had begun to appear in the dense wood and what appeared to be a town center, if one could call it a town. Chaff nodded for Peeta to stop pushing the handle and they glided to a stop in front of a makeshift train station. A group of young men in what appeared to be battle fatigues came forward to greet them, welcoming Chaff back and eyeing the youths in their Capital clothing.

Peeta stepped down first, and then lifted Katniss off the cart, remaining in front of her and blocking her from the heavily armed soldiers.

"It's about time!" a voice called from the edge of the group. Katniss' heart skipped a beat. "I thought you'd never get here."

She peeked out from behind Peeta's shoulder as the younger men stepped aside to let the commanding officer through. He was just thirty-five, but white hairs had begun to pepper at his temples. His grey eyes shone with fire and delight. And when he smiled at the face peering around her Spouse's shoulder, she saw her own lopsided grin.

"Dad?" she whispered.

Peeta jerked his face around to gape at her question. She stepped out from him, slowly and deliberately to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"Hey there, Katniss."

"Dad!" she screamed as she ran into his arms. "I thought you were…" she sobbed. "You Disappeared."

"Shhh, shhh," he said, stroking her hair. "I'm okay. You're safe now."

She pulled away, sniffling. "I thought I'd never see you again, I thought you were gone. Where were you?" Questions poured forth. He laughed at her babbles.

"Hush, Katniss. There's time for this later. You need to rest."

She saw him glance over her shoulder.

"Oh, Dad, forgive me. This is my Spouse, Peeta," she smiled, reaching back to take Peeta's hand and pull him forward.

Peeta smiled nervously and extended his hand. "An honor, sir," he said.

Donnel Everdeen stiffly shook Peeta's hand. "Son of Farll and Mahra. Yes, I know you from Twelve," he said. Turning back to his daughter, his smile returned. "You must be exhausted," he said. She nodded, laughing sheepishly as she yawned. "Come on," her father said.

She took Peeta's hand as they followed him through the tiny village of runaway rebels and fugitives. Katniss looked all over at the few straggling escapees who had found refuge here. A set of young twins tossed a ball back and forth and she saw their mother watching with her arms full of two more twins; a forbidden four children. An elderly widower giving a flower to a middle-aged woman. A head of russet-brown curls and a full pregnant belly on a smiling woman hurrying to meet them.

"Annie!" Katniss shrieked, and ran to her.

Annie opened her arms to receive her, ducking her belly away from the onslaught of excitement. Katniss fell into her arms, laughing and wailing. "You're safe!" She cried out, pulling back and looking at her belly. Peeta caught up to her and embraced Annie warmly.

"And so are you," she grinned. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Finnick sent us to you."

She beamed with pride. "I knew he would. But I'm sure he sent you to Donnel." She gestured towards Katniss' father. "When I found out whose daughter you were," she said to Katniss, "I knew you'd be here soon enough."

Donnel had wandered over and smiled at them. "Finnick's a good man. So glad to have him on the inside, Mrs. Odair," he winked at her.

Annie blushed, and rubbed her belly. "I'll be glad when he's here to change diapers," she laughed.

"Come on, let's get you rested," Donnel said, taking back off for the tenements.

"I'll find you later," Annie said, squeezing Katniss' hand and waving to Peeta.

Katniss slipped her arm around his waist and continued on. She saw her father watching them out of the corner of his eye and she smiled at him. Her father was alive. She couldn't wait to wake up and talk to him. To get to know him again.

They reached a cabin with "Everdeen" written in chalk on the door. He pushed open the door for them and closed it behind them. "Bedroom's upstairs," he said. "I have them setting up a house for you, but we only learned you'd gotten out last night. It's not quite ready."

"Thank you so much," she said through a yawn.

"Why don't you get some water for you two?" Donnel nodded to Peeta. "The kitchen's through there." Peeta nodded sleepily and walked out of sight.

Donnel helped Katniss up the stairs to the one lofted room. She stepped out of her shoes and collapsed immediately.

"Do you want me to tell him to go?"

Her eyes opened at the question. "Peeta?"

"Your Spouse. I can take him to another house. Or tell him to sleep downstairs."

"No," she said, her forehead creasing in confusion. "No, he's…good. He takes care of me."

Her father looked doubtful.

She smiled softly. "He's a good husband, Dad."

Peeta's footsteps on the stairs ended their exchange and he shyly appeared in the doorway with two tin cups. Donnel stepped aside so he could hand one to Katniss. She drained hers greedily as Peeta did the same. Donnel took the cups from them and moved to the door as Peeta sat next to Katniss on the bed to pull of his shoes.

"I'll come back later to see how you are," he said, his hand on the doorknob.

"Thank you, Dad. Thank you," Katniss said. Peeta stretched out next to her and pulled the ragged blanket over their worn out bodies. She closed her eyes and curled into him, resting her cheek on his shoulder.


	2. Chapter 2: Enlistment

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

Enlistment

"This is right decent, Mellark," Donnel barked, nodding towards Peeta while he finished the last of the molasses loaf with his dinner.

"Thank you, sir," Peeta smiled. "I can bring you another loaf tomorrow; I have three more baking now."

Donnel waved him off. "A lot more people need that than I do; you give that to the refugee families."

Peeta nodded. "Yes, sir. Can I get you anything else?"

"Actually, I was wondering if my daughter would join me on an evening stroll."

Katniss looked up from her tea to her father's eyes. He smiled at her. "I'd love to," she said, setting down her mug on the uneven table.

Their home was set up exactly as all the other shelters here, but the hand-made tenderness of each furnishing lacked the coldness impersonal feel of their Capital townhome. The front door opened into a four-seat dining room table with mismatched chairs. To the right was a seating area with a loveseat her father had snuck from the operations center and to the left was a makeshift kitchen with a coldwater spigot and small woodstove. Across from the kitchen, a thin wall separated an area to be used as the bathroom. A large washtub was placed inside, as was a bucket with a wheeled base - standard in each home - to boil bathwater. A set of rickety stairs lined the back wall, leading up to the bedroom on the upper floor. Tiny, just large enough for their bed and one rack for clothes that their meager donated clothing didn't fill. But its coziness made her feel safe.

Donnel stood and watched warily as Peeta helped Katniss into a heavy military issue coat. They laughed as her small arms got tangled in the oversized sleeves.

"See you later," she smiled.

He grinned at her and swiped her teacup from the table and walked back to the kitchen. She caught her father watching Peeta's retreating form, but as they stepped outside he smiled again.

She inhaled the cold late winter air as she walked along, memorizing each moment of her first day here in the base camp.

"Is your cabin all right?" Donnel asked.

"Yes, it's perfect," she answered.

"It's not those Capital homes," he started.

"That's why it's so perfect!" she laughed. She sighed and they continued strolling, further away from the houses.

She watched three children throwing snowballs across an open field and began to count the houses circling their village center until she couldn't keep the question back.

"Dad, what happened?"

He stopped. "The mine collapsed." He went on, "It wasn't an accident. There was an explosion. I just didn't die like they planned. We got away by another tunnel Winze had started digging, just in case. He and I got out into the woods and made a run for it. We ran into Haymitch Abernathy when we tried to sneak into the Hob a few days later to steal food. He got us out here; Aurelius was the doctor that patched him up when that girl went after him with an axe.

"Katniss," he turned to her. "There's a war going on.

"Winze and I joined up as soon as we got here. We've been sabotaging the Capital's contract system ever since, placing people sympathetic to us so we can take over ports here and there. We're going to take down this government."

She staggered. This was not at all what she had imagined.

"I know it's hard to understand right now," he sympathized. "You're so young. But you know awful things happen when they shouldn't. This life isn't right. This isn't how it's supposed to be. Years ago, we had a choice. We didn't live under an iron boot, telling us who to be. Or who to love. I wanted that. For all of us, you too.

"The explosion was my chance to escape. They thought I was dead. I could get out here and fight, away from it all. I had to go."

"You've been gone for five years, Dad. Why didn't you try to get a message to us? That you were alive?" The anger was rising.

"I couldn't. It wasn't safe, Kat. You and Prim were so little. If they took Larkspur, you'd die. I had to leave you behind."

"She lost the third baby," Katniss said through her tears.

"I heard," Donnel said, looking away. "I'm…sorry about that."

She wasn't sure why she was so frustrated. It had been five years after all, and he hadn't been there for the loss. But she was still cross. "We took Winze's fourth."

His eyebrows rose. "Yeah, I heard you call her Posy."

"Gale named her. Does he know Winze's alive?"

"Katniss, I'm sorry I wasn't there. I couldn't risk getting caught. Or you getting caught. I wanted a better life for you. So you could marry whoever you wanted. Not get stuck with a stranger. Or that soft baker," he scoffed.

Katniss stared at him. "Peeta's a good man. He risked his life to protect me."

"I know he's a good man, Kat. I can see he's kind to you. But would you have picked him?" he stared her in the eye. "If you had a choice. Would you have picked him?"

She looked away. Of course not. She had barely known him. "I don't know."

"I just want to give you the chance Larkspur and I never had," he said, taking her hands. "You're still young, you don't have children. You have time to find what you want. I tried to get back to you before you were Contracted, but…I did what I could." He inhaled deeply.

She nodded slowly, trying to hide her confusion. What was being asked of her was unclear.

"Hey, it's okay," he said, pulling her in for a quick hug. "It's not anything you need to figure out today, Katniss. That's what freedom is. Life on your own terms." He paused and pulled away, looking mischievous. "I actually brought you out here for a reason. I have a surprise."

He pulled her back towards the houses by her hand, laughing at her curious expression. He hurried her along the rows of houses away from where hers stood to one with light pouring out of the windows, even at this late hour. As he knocked, she read "Hawthorne" on the door.

"Winze!" he called, knocking again. "We're here!"

It wasn't Winze who answered the door.

"Gale!" cried Katniss. She rushed towards him, wrapping her arms around him. She smelled the coal dust in his skin, the woods in his hair. He was laughing and she joined him.

"Come on in, you kids," Winze was behind them, grinning. She pulled away, wiping her runny nose on her coat sleeve.

Gale offered Katniss the shabby sofa and sat next to her. Her father and Winze moved over to the open kitchen to talk quietly.

"When did you get here, Gale?" she asked excitedly.

"This morning," he smiled eagerly. "I went out to hunt and suddenly-" he laughed incredulously "there was my dad. Alive in the woods. I thought I had gone insane."

"Believe me, I know the feeling," she laughed. "When Peeta and I got here-"

"Peeta's here?" Gale looked surprised.

"Of course! Isn't Johanna?"

Gale took a deep breath. "No. She's not."

Katniss gaped at him. "What about…your children?"

"I had to leave them. It's too dangerous for them here."

"You left them?"

"Dad helped me kill a boar and we smeared blood all over a clearing near the fence. We ripped up my jacket and left my butcher knives. They'll think I've been killed and…get help from the neighbors."

Katniss' face flushed. "You know that's not enough to live on." She snuck a look over to their fathers and dropped her voice. "Gale, you can't do what they did to us."

"It's only for a short while, Katniss. Just until we earn our freedom. Until we finish what Madge started." His voice caught and he looked away, his eyes glassy.

She'd forgotten that he surely watched her die. His childhood companion melting and dissolving into ash in front of his eyes. She looked back to his red face, the pain visible as he recalled her horrific death.

"Gale, I'm so sorry," she murmured as she put her hand over his clenched fist in his lap. He looked up at her with red eyes. "You're right. We should honor the Girl on Fire."

"I'm so glad you're here, Katniss." He leaned in and hugged her again. She wrapped her arms around him and sighed happily, squeezing her eyes shut. When she opened them she spotted her father and Winze joining them.

She stayed for an hour, listening to tales of home and how his children were growing. How her mother, Prim and Posy were well but missed her. She saw her father's jaw tense when Gale noted they always seemed to have bread when he brought game to the house.

The night dragged on and Katniss began to yawn. "Gale, I should home. Peeta's going to worry."

Gale's face clouded. "Oh," he said.

She flushed with guilt. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked eagerly. "When you've rested."

He smiled. "Of course."

Her head was buzzing as her father walked her back the scruffy house marked with "Mellark" scribbled across the door in fresh white chalk. She realized she was smiling.

Her father hugged her at the door. "It's a whole new life out here, Kat. I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too."

He held her at arms' length and examined her face.

"What?" she asked.

"I can see me in you," he said proudly. "You look like my daughter. I can't wait to get to know you."

The lights were off when she slid inside. She shrugged off the ill-fitting coat and hung it on the nail inside the door. Unlacing her boots, she left them by the stairs as she slipped over to the sink basin to wash her face and clean her teeth. The stairs creaked as she climbed, and she winced, hoping she didn't wake Peeta.

Slipping under the covers, he stirred and his eyes opened. "Katniss?"

"It's me," she whispered, feeling wrong although she couldn't say why.

"Everything all right?" he yawned.

She curled into him, unsure of how to answer. "Go back to sleep," she soothed. He nodded off. She watched him sleep.

When she woke up, Peeta's side of the bed was made and the smell of breakfast was wafting up the stairs. Low voices were murmuring from the kitchen. Her father must be back over; Katniss daydreamed in her hazy state. Stretching and yawning, she swung her legs over the bed and tied her hair back loosely. Pulling the scratchy wool robe from the bedpost, she secured it over her clothes and opened the door to come downstairs.

Reaching the first floor, she wished she had dressed. Gale was butchering a turkey on the counter, a fresh kill from the woods this morning. Her father and Peeta were sitting at their small table, nursing cups of bitter coffee.

"Good morning," Donnel smiled. "Hope we didn't wake you."

Katniss blushed at her appearance. "No, no. I slept far too long. You should have woken me," she told Peeta.

"You looked so peaceful," he countered with a smirk. There was something sad in his eyes. She heard Gale cough.

"Hope you're hungry," he said. His sideways glance at Peeta was not missed on her.

"Very much," she said, crossing to the stove to pour a cup of coffee.

"I thought you didn't like coffee," Peeta said.

"You didn't either at first, I remember. But it grows on you," Katniss smiled, nodding her head towards his own cup.

"Where is the bakery in relation to the tunnel?" Donnel had turned abruptly back to Peeta.

"It's not far, I think," Peeta began. "It was very dark when we left, but I would say the tunnel couldn't be more than a mile from Aurelius' house, felt like less, and my bakery is on the adjacent street. Maybe a mile and a half at most."

"How many people could we get into the oven rooms?"

"Maybe ten, thirteen max in the front," Peeta said thoughtfully. "The storefront would fit another twenty. If they haven't destroyed it. Burned it or something to look like I died in a fire."

Katniss felt a pang of guilt. She hadn't even considered that her prep team could have been killed to cover her Disappearance. "Do you think they'd do that?" she asked her father, taking a seat at the table across from Peeta.

"Couldn't say. They don't want anyone to know they're not fully in control, which makes them dangerous. Well, I guess no more than they already are," Donnel shrugged.

"Is Dr. Aurelius all right?" Peeta asked.

"Yeah, he's fine," Donnel responded. "Chaff says they were harder on him this time since you were definitely spotted there, but with the old woman talking up a storm they couldn't say one way if it was legit or not." He laughed. "She's a character, that one. She'll outlive us all."

Peeta's look of relief made Katniss warm. She was grateful they hadn't cost anyone their lives during their escape.

"Think you can be ready next week?" Donnel asked Peeta.

Katniss' brow furrowed. "Ready for what?"

Peeta looked up at her with a look of fear she didn't want explained. "I'm…I'm leading them back. I delivered to the higher ups in the Capital; I know where they live. Your dad needs me to take the soldiers in," he said hesitantly. "That's why we're here."

Her coffee cup splashed as the table jarred and her chair smashed to the floor and she leapt to her feet. "No!"

Peeta was up, trying to catch her thrashing hands. "They need me to! They need a guide who's seen it all in daylight. Your dad explained it all to me," he said, looking back to Donnel. "Tell her!" he called over Katniss' wails.

"He's our best chance," Donnel said firmly. "He's seen the homes of the top generals, walked around their homes. He knows where the servant entrances are, he can get us in more safely than any of our secret spies."

"We just escaped!" Katniss cried out. "They're looking for you; they'll kill you if you go back!"

"I won't be alone," Peeta tried to reassure her. "Some of the best soldiers are going with me. Your dad will be with me. I'll be okay."

"Fine. I'll go too, I know the city layout," Katniss wept.

"No," Peeta said. "You're staying here."

"I won't let you go!"

"You've got to stay here if their retreat comes this way," Peeta sounded frantic. "Gale is going to need your help to get the families into the dense woods. They've been preparing to run for weeks, but the two of you can manage wilderness better than anyone here; you'll keep them alive and fed until we can get back."

Katniss looked up at Gale. He'd stopped chopping up the bird and was watching her. "You're staying?" He nodded.

"That's why we had to get you all out here now. Why they were watching you so carefully. We infiltrated the last of their supply ports fell last week. We're ready to stage the final attack on the President himself," Donnel said. "Surrounding the entire mountain are other camps like this. We can do it this time," he said, clearly believing it. "But I need Peeta to lead us in."

Katniss stopped struggling, but continued to cry, lowering her face to her hands.

"Donnel," Gale said quietly from behind her in the kitchen. "Let's give them some time." He moved over to the dining area and righted her chair. Katniss sat down heavily, letting her misery envelop her.

Donnel and Gale left; Donnel telling Peeta to come by the operations shelter as soon as he could to learn basic defense. Peeta agreed and closed the door after them. He returned to the table and sat across from Katniss. His eyes were puffy but he attempted restraint.

She stared at him despondently. "Why?" she whispered.

"Your father needs me to, Katniss," he struggled out. "If I'm there, it's less likely those soldiers are going to get lost and killed in an ambush."

"But _you_ could get killed!" she burst out, propping her elbows on the table and sobbing into her palms.

She felt his hands creep forward to rest outside her propped elbows. "I'm doing it for you," he whispered.

She raised her face. "What?"

"We're free now, but for how long? Your dad told me they've been looking for the runaways relentlessly. They're going to look for us, too. We'd spend our whole lives running. I don't want that for you. For us," he implored, leaning his body towards her and sliding his hands to close over hers.

He looked down at the table for a moment and she thought she saw him regrouping his thoughts. He spoke slowly, and with difficulty. "I…I could not make it back," he said, looking up at her sharp intake of air and fresh tears. "But I'm okay with that, if it means you'd be safe. You could be free. And happy. Forever."

"I'm happy with you here," she whispered.

He smiled sorrowfully. "Let's eat some breakfast," he deflected, moving to the kitchen to roast the turkey Gale had left for them.

She insisted on going to the training center with him. If he really expected her to lead out the families if a Capital retreat rampaged through their makeshift village, she needed her own training. She thought it was a clever excuse to see him as much as possible, but when she arrived they were immediately separated. She called for him to see her at home that evening, but he was gone before the sentence had fallen.

It was Alma Coin who led Katniss to the forest that jutted up against the housing development. She smiled to see Gale and Haymitch Abernathy waiting for them as they approached. Her grin broadened as she saw Gale held two bows and two quivers, full of arrows. They were going to hunt.

"Everdeen," Haymitch nodded a curt greeting.

Katniss blushed, "Technically, it's Mellark."

Alma rubbed the spot beneath the band of her eye patch. "Not if you don't want it to be. Coin is my name, my family name. I've earned it back, I think," she said proudly. "You can be who you want to be here."

Katniss smiled at the thought. "Everdeen," she repeated her father's name. She looked back to Haymitch. "All right. Call me Everdeen."

"Well, you'll be Private Everdeen, so we don't confuse you with your father anyhow," he said gruffly. "And you're Private Hawthorne," he said at Gale.

Gale handed her a quiver and a bow. "Ready to show them what we can do?" he grinned.

Their first day would be showing Haymitch and Coin just how well they could handle themselves in the woods so they would know where to start training. And to gather as much food as possible to get the strength of the soldiers up, Katniss expected. Most everyone in the camp looked lean and hungry and more people were trickling in every day.

She climbed trees for them to retrieve eggs and show off her natural agility. Gale took out three flying ducks through the tree branches. Squirrels piled up at Haymitch's feet. A wild boar. Two turkeys. When they both caught the stag in the neck and eye, Coin decided that was enough. Katniss thought it may be just too much to carry back to camp.

When they arrived back to camp, all four laden down with bloodied game bags and dragging the field-dressed deer, a shout went up. Hungry faces appeared at windows with joy in their eyes. Katniss laughed at the twin children who ran out to try to help pull the large kill that was five times their size. She looked for Peeta and her father but didn't see them among the soldiers arriving to relieve them of their bags.

"There's going to a party tonight," Haymitch whistled, seeing young men already dragging kindling to the center of the village to build a bonfire.

And he was right. It was more food than most of the villagers had seen in weeks, for the soldiers it had been some months. The fighters were given their choice first and loaded up eagerly, trying to be conservative in the face of so many to feed.

Katniss considered taking a plate of boar ribs, but when she saw the woman with four children lining up behind her, she gave the little girl her plate and stepped away from the bounty. She had enjoyed luxurious food during her short time in the Capital that these people had never dreamed of. She could eat at home later with Peeta.

Her eyes scanned the crowd for the twentieth time, looking for his blond curls to catch her eye, but again she couldn't spot him. The sun had set nearly an hour ago; she was surprised he remained absent. She decided to go looking for him.

Rounding the tall guard tower and walking down the darkened path she knew led to the operations center, a voice queried, "Going so soon?" in her ear.

"No," she smiled at Gale as his face came into view next to hers. "I'm going to find my father…and Peeta. They haven't been around."

Gale nodded. "Probably still at the center. I'll walk with you."

"That was an impressive haul today, Private Hawthorne." she complimented him.

"Thanks, Private Everdeen. I never stopped, you know, at home," he paused. She wondered if he was thinking of his Spouse and children, and all the others his hunting no longer fed.

"It's been too long for me. I missed too often."

"Your arrow hit the buck's eye."

"Mine?"

"Yeah," he said, looking at her as they walked. "You're still…you." He smiled. She was glad to hear it.

They reached the operations center, a makeshift house that had been expanded multiple times with canvas tents as their forces grew. Katniss ducked under a loose tent flap with Gale close behind to find the center appeared abandoned.

She heard Gale's breathing in the dark and whispered, "Maybe I just missed them."

"But I didn't see them either," he returned. "We wouldn't both miss them."

The low hum of voices from a distance made her stop. "Listen."

"Over there," whispered Gale and they crept quietly to the opening of the tent and into a hall created by the tents' not quite reaching one another. She wasn't sure why they had gone silent and were operating under their stealth mode from home.

"I think you understand where I'm coming from," she heard her father saying.

She heard what sounded to be a stifled sob, then Peeta's voice say, "Yes, of course."

"And who knows how it will all end anyway, right?" Donnel was continuing. "No one knows. Once we all have the freedom we deserve…who knows."

Katniss and Gale reached the entrance to the original house, but could only see shadows on the wall. Donnel and Peeta must have been out of their field of vision, she figured, but she didn't dare poke her entire head in to the room.

"I understand," Peeta's voice croaked. "I would do the same. For her. Or if I had a daughter."

"Glad to hear it. Let's go get some food. We can revisit the maps tomorrow."

Gale and Katniss ran silently back down the hallway and ducked out the flap. Rather than running back to the party, Katniss ran to the edge of the woods on this side of the village. Gale followed close behind.

She felt panicked by his presence, her mind muddied. "What…" she panted, "were they talking about? Why was Peeta crying? Are they going to die?"

Gale shook his head. "No, Katniss. They're going to be with the best detail here. Don't say that."

"Then what?"

"I don't know, Catnip. Donnel's been visiting my father a lot and they whisper all night. I just…don't know."

Katniss let her heart slow down and her breathing steady. "Let's go back. They'll be looking for us."

And they were. Donnel and Winze called out to Gale and Katniss as they appeared from the dark pathway. Katniss saw Winze nudge Donnel with his elbow and jut his chin in their direction with a smirk. She saw Peeta on Donnel's other side look away quickly. She ran to him.

"Where were you all day?" she asked, taking his hand. "We were taken to the woods to go hunting," she told him, not liking the way he wasn't grasping her hand back.

"At the operations center," he sighed tiredly. "They had me do some basic physical training in the morning, but all afternoon we mapped out the best path into the Capital city center." He glanced up to meet her eyes, then away at the bounty of food. "I see you were very successful," he gave a small nod to a soldier chewing on a duck bone walking by.

"Did you get a chance to eat?" she released his hand and gestured towards the table.

"Actually," he said, swallowing hard. "I'm just too tired. I'm going to go to bed." He had turned away from her and was walking away already.

"He's had a long day," her father appeared beside her, draping his arm over her shoulders. "Strategy is no easy task. Let's eat! I'm starving," he laughed, heading to the table.

"I ate," she lied, glancing back at Gale and Winze. "I'm going to go too, it's late. And I'm sure tomorrow will be more difficult training." She slipped Donnel's arm, bid good night to Gale and Winze, and hugged her father. "Really," she said to his protest, "I'm very tired. Good night. See you tomorrow." She hurried after Peeta before anyone could demand she stay.

He was inside when she reached their door; she could see the lamp was lit in the kitchen. She smiled as she pushed the door open, but was greeted by Peeta's face streaked with tears looking up startled from the sink.

"Peeta! What's wrong?" she slammed the door and hurried over.

He turned to the sink before she could embrace him and splashed cold water on his face.

"Sorry, I guess I'm just more tired than I thought," he muffled behind the dishtowel as he dried his face. "Um," he said nervously, "I'm going to sleep down here tonight. On the sofa."

Their first night on the train flashed into her mind. She felt herself alone on the cold bunk bed. Just a few feet from her new Spouse but a cavernous distance between them. "Why?"

He forced a laugh, "My brothers told me I snore when I'm extra-tired, I wouldn't want to keep you up. We'll both have busy days tomorrow," he said, walking the long way around her to the bathroom wall.

"Peeta."

He turned back to her reluctantly.

She stared at him, her eyes imploring explanation but unable to voice the question.

"Good night," he mumbled, and disappeared from view.

The next night was the same and the night after. She lay awake, not hearing snoring and knowing he was lying to her, but when she woke in the morning he was already gone. The third night when she planned to corner him at a late dinner, he didn't return home until after she was in their bed alone. It continued.

Relief came in the days she spent training with Gale. She felt like herself in the woods. Even Coin and Haymitch urging them on to find faster and safer routes while dodging the mild traps set for the trainees didn't dampen the joy of running free in the forest. The cold air bit at her nose and ears and she found herself smiling even as she clapped her gloved hands to get feeling back into her fingers.

"Faster!" yelled Haymitch's voice from a blind to her left, and a rock flew past her shoulder. She dodged to the right and rolled up with an arrow set in her bow. The arrow flew into the neck of the dummy hanging fifty feet behind her.

"Well done!" called Coin, appearing with Gale from the other side of the forest. "How are you feeling?" she asked them. "We've only got two more days before the strike. I'm comfortable with your skill, but you need to be more so. What do you want to work on?"

"Two days?" repeated Katniss. She hadn't realized the time had passed so quickly. Her father and Peeta would be leaving tomorrow to get the rendezvous point by the next morning. She winced at the fear squeezing her heart.

"Yes. Finnick got through to his contact in Four that they'll be landing around the same time as our group is entering. Comm from the other districts says we'll have reinforcements within an hour of first strike."

"It's going to be that big?" a smile was playing at Gale's mouth. His shining eyes turned to Katniss. "We really could win this thing, Catnip. We really could," he grinned.

"The retreat is going to scatter in all directions," she realized out loud. "They're going to come this way."

Haymitch nodded. "Probably. This side is actually the least steep incline if they take the outside route of the mountain. There's also a Capital-installed evacuation route only five miles from our own drainage pipe. It's easier terrain this way, part of the reason we chose this for base camp," he huffed. "It's likely the more inexperienced soldiers will head this way."

"Or civilians," Katniss pointed out. Coin caught her eye.

Ama fixed her mouth in a thin line. "Let's do more target shooting."

"What do you think will happen if we win?"

"When we win."

"When we win?" Katniss tried again. They were keeping ahead of Coin and Haymitch on the long walk back to camp to prove they remembered the escape route.

Gale frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Where will we go?"

"You mean, for home? For good?"

"Yeah," Katniss nodded. "I don't want to go back to the Capital. Not without Cinna and Portia," she added quietly.

"You should come back to Twelve," Gale said. "Your family will gladly take you back."

She thought of sleeping in the cramped bed with Prim's elbow in her back and Posy kneeling on her hair. "I can't stay with them," she laughed. "I'm married."

Gale looked at her. "You'd stay with him?"

"What do you mean?"

He stopped walking. She glanced back and saw Coin and Haymitch pause, watching them curiously. Gale saw them and resumed his stride.

"I mean, I don't think you'd have to stay Contracted if you don't want to."

Her steps faltered. "You mean…"

Gale cleared his throat. "My dad said the plans include destroying the Contract database; it's housed in their mainframe in the security sector. It's going to erase everyone's contract."

She remained silent for a long time. When she spoke, she looked up at her friend.

"What would you do? I mean…your children."

Gale's eyes found the ground. "I think Joh…the kids…I don't know, Katniss," he said, shrugging. He looked to her. "My dad says…I think I want…I don't know." His voice sounded like it carried the weight of the world. Katniss felt a stirring of pity and longing for him.

"You can do whatever you please," Coin's voice interjected over Katniss' shoulder.

She spun to see Alma's smiling face close behind. Haymitch scowled a few steps back.

Gale looked furious, "This was a private conversation."

"No, it was a conversation between two Privates who are currently under the supervision of their Trainers." Gale scowled and moved to speed away. Coin caught his elbow and put another hand on Katniss' shoulder. She wanted to squirm free.

"Your fathers are very eager for your freedom, both of you. I know their leaving was very difficult, but it is for your own benefit that they fight. You should remember what they've sacrificed to give you this chance."

She released them and strode ahead as they reached the camp. Katniss and Gale stopped walking; watching her go as they flesh crawled. Haymitch pushed past them, bumping both of them purposefully with an angry grunt.

Annie was at her garden at the end of the forest, pulling potato roots. She waved to them then saw Haymitch's face. She stood and said something to him, but Katniss couldn't make out the words. Her expression fell and her hands covered her large belly. Looking over at her and Gale, Annie turned and followed Haymitch into her house.

"This place is starting to feel less like freedom every day," Gale said through gritted teeth.

Katniss was home well after nightfall but the house labeled "Mellark" was still dark. She looked at the smudged chalk on the door and sighed, pushing the door open.

The cold outside had begun to permeate the cracks in the wall slats, and she moved to the living area and started stacking logs in the fireplace. The dry kindling caught and she shrugged off her thick coat and moved to hang it by the door.

Rubbing her arms until the warmth of the fire reached the kitchen, she opened the icebox and looked to see if there was anything left to eat before much-needed sleep. She squatted down to peer deeper in the dark room and her legs ached with effort. She poked through the wrapped leftover food and spotted a bit of roasted turkey slipping from a bit of waxed paper. She remembered Gale carefully butchering the bird on the counter just a few days ago and smiled to herself. He had taught her the cleaning technique she had always followed at home after a hunt. She pulled the paper from the icebox and started to tear pieces right from the chunk and pop them in her mouth. She turned back to the fire and saw the loaf sitting on the counter.

It was swaddled in two towels against the cold and a plate with a small knife was carefully set next to it. Her appetite waned as she thought of Peeta, standing in this very spot, leaving this so he'd know she had food ready for her when she got home. She returned the turkey to the icebox and unwrapped the loaf. Molasses. Her favorite.

Nothing had made sense for six months. Every day since the Reaping left her less and less sure of who she was and what she wanted. She felt a powerful urge to run out the find a quiet spot to sit and remember herself, only then rejoining the world full of pulling and pushing forces.

She abandoned the bread and wandered over to the fire. She thought of Madge, burning brightly as she refused to live by someone else's terms. She closed her eyes and saw Cinna's eyes watching her as he was dragged from the studio. Annie scrawling her name on Finnick's wrist. She imagined the storm they spoke of that night, rolling and tossing her and then Finnick's arm reaching into the water to pull her into his embrace.

She wearily got to her feet and stumbled to the bathroom. Refusing to turn on the lights, she located the wheeled bucket with her shins. Cursing, she pushed it to the spigot on the wall and filled the bucket. She wheeled it into the living room and poured the bucket into the large pot hanging over it.

Peeta would be gone tomorrow. In just a few hours. She rubbed her wrist where his name was scripted. It would be there forever. Even after he had left with her father, she would carry his name on her body. She wrapped her fingers around her wrist bones and closed her eyes.

The sound of the bubbles breaking on the water surface came to her. She sighed as she lifted the pot from the spit and poured it back into the bucket and wheeled it back to the bathroom. Adding cold fresh water from the spigot, she stepped into the empty basin and washed herself down, scrubbing her face with a washcloth and pouring cups of water over her long hair.

She shivered as she stepped out of the basin and emptied the bucket down the drain. She dried herself hurriedly and fumbled for her robe in the dark. Wrapping her hair in her towel, she heard the scraping at the door. She saw Peeta squinting in the dim light of the fire before seeing her in the bathroom. They stared at one another. She glanced down and realized she had put on his robe.

"You're still up," he finally said, awkwardly removing his coat and hanging it behind the door.

"Just got home a few minutes ago," she replied, her eyes fixed on him. "Thank you for the bread."

He looked over to the counter, frowning. "You haven't eaten any."

"Not yet," she smiled. He didn't smile, but his frown softened.

"I should wash up too-" he started.

"I've missed you," she blurted out.

He didn't speak. "I'm sorry," he muttered after a time, unsure of what to say. "It's been so much…getting ready for tomorrow," he faltered. He looked to her. His shoulders sagged. "I've missed you too."

She took a step towards him with a smile. "Will you eat with me?"

"Yes." He returned her smile.

They sat in the dim light, cutting slices of the molasses bread and eating greedily.

"It's like our first night in the Capital," she said fondly.

"A little colder," he grinned.

She laughed. "And no butter, running water or comfortable bed."

"Or comfortable sofa," he chuckled. She watched the corners of his eyes crinkle with his giggle while she chewed.

"You slept on that sofa too long," she said wistfully.

"It really was comfortable," he offered.

"No, I mean…" she scooted her chair closer to his. "I should have known I could trust you. I _can_ trust you."

"I don't have any regrets," he said, putting down his bread. "You didn't do anything wrong. You were perfect."

She looked at him sideways. "Perfect?"

He smiled sheepishly. "Perfect for me," he said. Then his smile fell and he looked away, a pained look crossing his young features.

When he spoke next his tone frightened her. "I've…I've loved you for so long, Katniss." She stared at him. "I imagined us together so much, sometimes I forget you haven't loved me." She started to protest, but he cut her off. "It's okay, Katniss. You didn't even know me. But this fight, this…war. It's is a chance for you…to live the life you choose. With…," he fought for the words. "With whoever you want."

"I want you to come home," she said levelly. A sudden panic overtook her and she leaned forward to grip his shoulders hard, not caring if she was clawing him with her broken fingernails. "You come home to me, Peeta. Whatever happens in the Capital, you come home!"

She grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him to embrace her.

"I promise," he murmured, running his fingers through her tangled damp hair. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her across his lap. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and ran her hand across his chest as he stroked her back.

She gathered her courage over a few minutes and finally spoke. "Sleep upstairs with me tonight."

She heard him to inhale and felt the rejection coming. She lifted her head sharply, letting him see her earnest face. "Please." She offered a little smile. "I want one more night beside you."

His gaze pierced her, searching for confirmation. "Are you sure?"

She leaned in and kissed him her answer.

He washed up while she wrapped up the remaining bread, holding it against her body for a moment. For a short while, it would be a reminder of him. Then it too would be gone.

She slept fitfully and woke up frequently, gingerly stretching out a hand each time to feel Peeta's arm and listen to his breathing next to her. When the first gray light of morning crept across the floor his eyes opened to find hers still watching him.

He smiled sleepily and brought up his hand to brush a lock of her dark hair away from her forehead.

"Don't go," she whispered.

"I'll come home," he whispered back.

He turned around four times to look over his pack as he set out next to her father. She counted each time, praying for one more look into his eyes as she waved, tears spilling down her cheeks. Her father turned around that last time, smiled regretfully at her, then clapped an arm around Peeta's shoulders to pull him along.

The hours passed agonizingly slow. Coin and Haymitch tried to keep her mind in training, but with each passing hour she wondered where they were on the tracks. In the mountain tunnel? In the cellar? Making their way in the darkness to the doctor's house? To the bakery to wait for the signal to strike? They finally let her go home when she shot a distracted arrow that only missed Haymitch's head by a few inches.

It was raining as she stomped back through the mud, Gale supporting her on one side. When she reached the door, she saw the rain had washed away the chalk name on the door. She collapsed and Gale had to carry her inside.

Laying her on her bed, he pulled off her coat and draped it on the bedpost while she cried into her pillow. She didn't help when she felt him loosening her bootlaces and setting them by the door. He sat on the mattress behind her and rested his hand on her arm.

"Katniss, it's okay. Your dad will bring him back. He'll be okay," he murmured, leaning over to whisper in her ear. She couldn't respond.

He brushed a kiss on her temple and rolled away.

"Will you stay?" she asked, rolling towards him, crying so much it was hard to get the words out. "I can't stay here alone without him," she rasped.

He looked mournful. "Of course," he said, sitting to pull off his own boots and coat.

He lay down beside her. She held his hands and cried herself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3: Battle

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

**Battle **

The late night was dissolving into early morning and the air was freezing up in the watchtower. The breeze caught her hair for the umpteenth time and whipped it in front of her eyes. She tucked it back under her wool cap. Gale was sitting next to her on the floor, knees tucked up to his chest while he tried to stay warm.

"What I would give for a fire right now," he moaned. "Maybe the Capital's invented invisible fire and they can bring it back to us."

Katniss grinned. "I didn't see that when I was there, sorry to disappoint." She scanned the lookout again. "It's Day Three," she added, unnecessarily. "My dad and...the first strike" She fell silent.

"What was it like? There, in the Capital?" he asked to distract her.

"Hmmm? Oh. Well," she struggled to remember despite her short time away. "Bright. Perfect. Fake. Uncomfortable." She scanned the horizon they were meant to be watching. "Especially the clothes. The shoes were the worst. Pointless high heels that one could not run in." She rubbed her calf at the memory of her aching feet. "The food was good, though. Like I've never had. And probably never will again. I went to a party and the cake was so big…" She cut herself off, unable to continue the memory. So many people in it had left her behind. "What was Twelve like without me around?"

He smiled at the night. "Well, it was quieter and less annoying."

She nudged his knee with her boot.

He laughed quietly. He thought for a minute. "Hunting was more dangerous without you. I forgot what it was like to be alone out there, without someone watching your back. I worried a lot more." He saw she was watching him intently. "I worried about your family," he admitted. "I know some people were sneaking them food, I saw soups and breads there when I drop off game late at night. Still, you never know…Posy's growing so fast."

She scooted in close to him. "You'll see her soon." She smiled. "You know? She could never be Contracted. Or Prim. She may never have to marry a stranger. I want that so much for them both. Their lives will be so different than ours."

"I hope not so different in the good ways. Like learning the woods. Having friends. Loving them..."

Katniss stared at him as he watched the horizon. A missing puzzle piece clicked into place as Madge's voice floated back to her mind. A thrown away sentence said months ago, after their last class together. She understood now why it was so hard for Gale to stay in Twelve and see her every day, even as Madge stood by her side.

She felt a force within her guiding her face to his. Gale was leaning into her. She lifted her mouth to meet his and savored the sensation. It was different than kissing Peeta. Gale's face was rough with stubble, his skin and hair smelled of the woods instead of flour and cocoa powder. He pressed into the kiss, deepening and she inhaled the moment. He pulled back.

They looked at each other a long time. He looked down just as she was turning away.

"Gale-" she began.

"I just-" he said simultaneously.

She saw the movement in the trees.

"Gale!" she gripped his arm hard and pointed to the location of the movement. He ripped the binoculars from their hanging post and raised them.

"Katniss. Sound the alarm."

She pulled the cord and the siren blared out across the village. She and Gale scrambled down the ladder, jumping over the past few rungs. Haymitch and Alma Coin burst out of the nearest shelters, fully dressed and armed.

"You ready for this?" Haymitch yelled to them over the siren, tossing each their arrows and bows, along with a rifle each.

"Don't have a choice, do we?" Gale yelled back. And with that, they ran to opposite ends of the village and started ushering their charges to the woods.

Peeta was right; the few families and fugitives living here had been prepared for weeks. Most had been sleeping with their shoes on for the past two nights. Many were out of their doors running for the meeting point in the woods before she even reached their doors.

"Go! Go! Go!" she screamed as she ran. "They're coming!"

The soldiers assigned to stay and protect their camp ran past her to on their way to secure their borders. She watched their determined faces, wondering who would still be here when morning came.

She stopped to help the old widower into his coat until his younger companion came to his side and told Katniss to go ahead. She ran to each door, calling inside and listening for anyone trapped or needing help. She pulled coats onto small children and made sure they held hands as they ran with their parents. She circled back and reached the village center and saw Gale reach the other side across from her. She saw the mother running with her two older twins while Gale carried the two babies and she could sense his terror at what could be happening to his wife and twins at home.

"Gale! To the rendezvous!" she yelled, crossing to him. "We're clear over here!"

She was panting as she reached their secured departure spot in the woods. Five soldiers had been spared to guard the thirty-plus civilians who could not enlist, along with Haymitch, Coin, Katniss and Gale. They quickly counted heads, checked the smaller groups' rosters, and then hurried deep into the woods to the sound of gunfire opening behind them.

They walked for two hours, taking small breaks for the children and elderly until the finally reached their backup camp. The stronger civilians had been armed and watched the border while the children napped in the center, watched by older fugitives or the injured.

She and Gale wandered the perimeter, straining to hear for incoming bullets or intruders. The silence was eerie.

"Do you think they followed us?" she worried aloud.

"They must have seen where we ran," Gale agreed. "If the troops back at base can't hold them off, they'll be coming this way," he said grimly.

Haymitch was slipping over to meet them. "How's it looking?"

"Nothing out there," Gale nodded. "Not yet anyway."

"How long should we stay out here?" Katniss asked.

Haymitch gritted his teeth. "We're sending scouts back at nightfall to check out what's happened. We'll know when they come back…and if they don't, we move and fast."

Katniss looked back. "I don't know if this group can handle that."

"Then we better hope the scouts come back," Haymitch said. As he walked away she saw him pull a small flask from his pocket.

"Sure could use that myself right now," muttered Gale.

She rolled her eyes at him. "If there's ever a favor you could do me, it's to never become Haymitch Abernathy."

They lit the fires just as the mask of evening started to fall and roasted the boar and grooslings she and Gale had tracked nearby. Katniss had shown the few older children the safe roots to pick and they had returned with aprons and towels full of nettles and wild lettuces. It wouldn't be a grand supper, but it would keep them going through the night. Blankets were passed around and groups huddled together against the cold. When the infant twins started to cry, Gale hurried over to zip them under his own warm coat and they quieted.

Katniss moved over to his side and knelt down. "You're very good with them."

Gale smiled. "The boy reminds me of Auger. He's got the same eye color. Not the shape, but that leaf green color. Just like…his mother."

"Three boys?"

"No, Petiole's a girl. She's going to have to learn to fight like a boy with two big brothers, though," he smiled at the little face peeking out from his coat.

"Who does she look like?"

"Johanna, luckily," Gale laughed. "Well, my skin, but her features. Auger looks a little more like her, really."

"Ash is all you," Katniss smiled.

"Yeah, he is."

A commotion on the other side of the camp had Katniss on her feet. She sighed in relief. "It's just Haymitch," she told Gale, who was on edge. "Stay with the babies, they'll wake up."

She hurried over to where a private was attempting to relieve Haymitch of his flask, Coin standing by clucking with disapproval. "Let him keep it," she called, putting her hand on the young man's shoulder and stepping between him and Haymitch. "He's only hurting himself."

"He's supposed to be on duty, calling the shots," the young solider huffed.

"You think he'd be any better sober?" she shot back. He sputtered and stomped away. Coin looked her over, gave her a cloying smile, and meandered over to Gale.

"What's going on here?" she turned back to Haymitch, fixing him with a glare.

"He's got three damn kids, that's what's going on," Haymitch slurred at her and stumbled away from the group into the dark night.

She caught up with him away from the huddled masses, where the trees grew in a dense cluster. "Gale?"

"Yeah," he spat, turning on her. "I know it's not your choice, being with the baker, but that guy has kids to take care of."

"What?" she felt cornered. "What are you talking about?"

Haymitch sat down heavily on a fallen tree and she was horrified to see he looked about to cry.

"Haymitch," she said, kneeling to face him. "What are you saying?"

He started and stopped, struggling for the words. "Maysilee was a good woman. She wasn't my choice, but she would have been a good mother. Scarlett…just…I." He gave up and took a long drag from the flask. "Johanna's a good woman and a damn good mother."

He tried to struggle to his feet but couldn't get balanced and sat back down heavily. "I don't give a shit that Winze thinks you're best for Gale, or that Donnel agrees. He doesn't fucking know her. Or Peeta. That boy is golden. And he deserves better than an ungrateful bitch like you."

The sudden attack knocked the wind out of her. She stood to rip him to shreds when she heard what he was muttering.

"I'm sorry I ever messed with the program."

She grabbed Haymitch's arm before the flask returned to his lips. "Haymitch," she said firmly. "What did you do?"

He tried to look her in the eye. "Donnel had me fix the matches for Twelve."

The blood drained from her extremities. Her fingers felt like ice.

"He Contracted me to Peeta?" Haymitch nodded. "Why?"

"Partly because he knew how much it would bother Farll and Larkspur. Still jealous, all these years later," he scoffed. "But mostly 'cause once he found out Farll's kid was just like his dad and was head over heels for you, he knew he could get him to leave if he thought you'd be better off."

Katniss fell backwards and landed heavily on her backside. Her brain was buzzing. Haymitch didn't notice and kept slurring. "He worried about you all the time, I'll give him that. He even sent you to the Capital to work with Portia and Cinna so you'd get to have an easy life for a short while. So he'd know for sure he could get you out.

"Coin may buy all this Faces of the Future bullshit he's selling, but no one's giving a damn about the future of those babies in Twelve."

Katniss felt the rage clawing its way from her throat. "He would never abandon those kids. Gale is a good man."

"Is that why he's slept at your cabin for the past few nights?" he asked coldly.

She moved to slap him, but he caught her hand and yanked her down to his level. "Forget I trained you, sweetheart?" He smirked at her. "If you're so concerned about his reputation you might not flaunt your philandering."

He released her hand and stood quickly.

"Are those the scouts coming back?"

Something was wrong: she could sense it. There was no excitement in the air, no relief. She could hear some gasps and exclamations from the civilians and she and Haymitch ran back to the group.

Gale was already on his feet, having returned the babies to their frightened mother. "What's happened?" she cried out, reaching him as a young man with a bleeding ear was explaining something with large hand gestures.

"There's too many," he said in terror. "The retreat was larger than they expected."

He turned to her to answer the question she hadn't asked. "The strike group hasn't made it back."

Katniss' grip tightened on her bow. She closed her eyes and breathed. "Not yet. They haven't made it back yet," she opened her eyes. "So we're going to help."

She turned to the scout. "Get a weapon. You're leading me back."

"They're at least three times our number, Private," he objected.

"Then you'll have to fight three times as hard!" she yelled, squaring her jaw and fixing him with a cold eye. "We will hold this base until my father brings back the strike!" she screamed in his face.

Her voice echoed back between the trees of their camp until she felt the entire woods screamed with her. They crashed like waves on her ears over and over again, finally stilling to a silence.

"Get a weapon," repeated Gale, calling to all the scouts. "Anyone who can fight! Get a weapon. We're going to hold the camp!"

He was on his feet, gathering strong branches and breaking them into points. Katniss pulled the tired guide soldiers to their feet and got them moving. She turned to see an adolescent boy trying to take a stick from Gale, his twelve-year-old sister behind him.

"You two," she called. They turned to her, attempting to hide their fear. She took a knife from the private she had pulled up, yanked the bayonet from his rifle, and then crossed to them with broad steps. "I need you to guard these women and children while Private Hawthorne and I are gone." She handed them the blades carefully. "Practice on the trees – not each other," she warned. "If any Capital soldiers come through here, you hide with these people behind the trees and only stick them if they find you. Got it?"

The two children nodded solemnly. "Good. Kick out these fires," she ordered, turning away so not to let them know how scared she was for them.

"Let's go," she told her group of eleven soldiers. They set out as the gathering darkness blanketed them.

Battle was more of her vision of hell than she anticipated. She could smell the blood before she even reached their camp. She could see their operations tents burning. Loose papers scattered in the evening breeze and lifted into the air as they caught fire. She could hear the screams of men as they fell. Whether they were rebels that had stayed to hold ground or Capital escapees, she couldn't tell.

"Katniss!"

She heard Gale's voice and jerked her head to the left. She saw the young man, probably only a few years older than her, in a perfectly tailored Capital uniform. He was raising his gun at her. The arrow left her bow without thought and she saw it find a home in his shoulder. She started running faster.

It wasn't until she reached the village center that she understood just how good she was. She could shoot an arrow faster than they could aim a gun. She saw their scouts fall one by one, wishing she could pity them but leaving all sense of her heart behind as she darted between flames.

She and Gale kept pace, guarding one another. They were nearing the ops center, and she ducked inside a nearby house, yanking Gale in beside her.

Panting, she managed to ask, "Where's the line? I can't see our line."

He gasped, "I don't know if there is one anymore. It looks like they scattered."

"Cowards," Katniss spat.

"You sound like your father."

"I sound like someone who wants to live through this," she exacted. "I'm not going to be able to do that if these privates can't hold a damn line."

Gale's smiled. "Then go tell them to get their asses in gear."

She felt a genuine smile spread across her face. She stepped around Gale and marched out the door.

"To the watch tower!" she screamed into the night. "Hold the line at the watch tower!"

She tried to contain her surprise that the soldiers listened as they fought their way to meet her and Gale at the tower. She had their back with her arrows and Gale watched hers until she was able to get some semblance of a formation back. She could see among the faces the base leader was missing. Dead, she imagined. That's why they must have broken. But there were still Capital soldiers appearing on the horizon and a number still within the village. They had to hold the line. Or fight until they were dead.

"Watch each other's backs!" she yelled, taking the rear flank to look within the village. "We've got to hold-"

The munitions tent exploded to their right.

She was blown backward against the left rear support beam of the tower, landing on her back with the stars in her eyes and swirling around in her brain. She rolled her head to the right and saw two other soldiers piled up against the right rear support, groaning and struggling to move. A number of advancing Capital shoulders had been too close to the tent and caught the shrapnel. The two front support legs were already burning. A creaking brought her eyes back up. The world seemed to sway back and forth along with her head.

She fought the nausea, squeezed her temples between her palms and blinked hard. The groaning got louder. As though in a dream, she raised her eyes.

"The tower's going to fall!"

She was being pulled to her feet and knew on instinct it was Gale. He had blood running freely from a gash on his forehead surrounded by splinters and cinders. He was yelling, but she was having trouble understanding what he was saying over the roar of breaking wood. When she realized he was telling her to run, her feet seemed to take off.

The impact of the tower hitting the ground behind them still knocked her off her feet again and she fell hard. She could feel Gale's arm under her ribcage, but couldn't move to see if he was conscious or not.

Pain was radiating through her whole being. Noise came from all directions, clouding her thoughts. She wondered vaguely if she was going to die, too foggy to dwell on it.

"There's another wave coming!" a small voice called from around the din of flame and smoke and gunfire.

"No," she whispered to the ground, tasting blood on her tongue. She spit on the dirt in front of her face and it turned to red mud.

"No." She pushed up to all fours.

"No!" she rocked back to squat on her heels.

"NO!" she climbed unsteadily to her feet. She couldn't see as clearly as when they arrived, but she trusted her aim. She turned to where the watchtower had stood, seeing the advancing torchlights. She waited. She wanted to see the whites of their eyes when she killed them.

She steadied her bow in her bloodied and shaking hands.

"The retreat! Get to the village, the retreat is there! Find the civilians!"

She blinked. The flashes of light jumping in the darkness grew closer. The call was wrong. Something was wrong.

"The tower's fallen! Ops is burning! Where's Katniss?"

"Dad?" she heard her voice weak and soft. She couldn't scream. "Dad!" she tried again, but only coughed his name through blood.

The blow from behind was unexpected. She fell forward to her knees and her bow clattered a few inches away from her damaged hands.

She turned around to see the Capital soldier with the wounded shoulder standing over Gale's inert form, holding the rifle steady at her temple.

"Everdeen," he read on her uniform's namebadge. He rolled Gale over with his foot and a small moan escaped Gale's mouth. "Hawthorne." He sneered at her. "I'll tell your fathers you said hello.

"Good-bye," he laughed as he squeezed the trigger.

A scream escaped the soldier's mouth as Gale opened his eyes and darted to the left, plunging his dagger into the soldier's thigh. It was all the time Katniss needed. The bow was in her hand and the arrow was in his neck within seconds. Gale rolled out of the way and the body hit the ground.

She could hear their strike team reaching the village and calling out for them, but all she could do was stare at the man she'd killed. She didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling. She couldn't feel anything.

"Katniss!" she turned to see her father's eyes brimming with tears. "You're alive! What are you doing here? Why are you here?" He held her tightly. She tried to bring her bruised arms around him.

He turned to Gale's face, coated in blood. "Gale! What happened?"

Gale stumbled to his feet, unsteady. He waited until he had his balance before righting himself and announcing, "Katniss saved my life."

Winze appeared breathlessly, gripping and embracing his son. "You're alive," he wheezed, not seeming to believe it and gripping Gale harder.

She limped to look around the camp, now swarming with their returning soldiers. She closed her eyes against the bloodshed, and the darkness clamped down on her.

It was the following night when she opened her eyes again. She yawned and a sharp pain scattered across her forehead. She slipped her hand from between soft sheets and her shoulder protested. She gingerly touched the source of the pain and felt a bandage taped over her temple. She realized her palms were covered as well. Realizing she couldn't feel where her knee hit the sheet she guessed it was bandaged too. She sighed, but it only made her feel how sore her whole body was.

She could hear low voices from downstairs. She thought of the morning when Peeta told her he was leaving. She was so grateful this evening would be different than that horrible day.

Rolling out of bed, she had to grab the bedpost to keep from falling on weakened legs. She groped the wall and found her robe. She started to pull it from the wall, then saw Peeta's hanging next to her. She laughed silently to herself, remembering her mistake a few nights before, and pulled his down and dragged it over her battered form. Tying it around her waist, she inhaled the smell of his skin and eagerly opened the door.

"Katniss!" Donnel rushed up the stairs to catch her before she tumbled all the way down.

"Thank you," she smiled as he lifted and carried her down the staircase.

"You were asleep for nearly a day," he laughed. "You're probably a bit unsteady." She saw Haymitch in the living room as Donnel set her down the loveseat.

She looked around excitedly. "Where is he? Where's Peeta?"

She raised her face to Haymitch and finally discovered he wasn't smiling. He looked terrible. Her eyes shot to her father.

"Where's Peeta?" her voice sounded small and far away.

"Honey," he began. He sat down next to her slowly and carefully. "Peeta got hurt. Pretty badly." He looked at her, gauging her reaction. She couldn't blink. "We…we had to leave him. I don't' know…I don't think he-" he swallowed hard. His voice faded and she couldn't hear him.

She saw him falling away from her. Haymitch retreated into the sky as she collapsed to the floor and the darkness consumed her again.


	4. Chapter 4: Waiting

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

**Waiting**

It was sunny outside, but the Katniss' didn't feel warm. She sat on the frozen earth littered with dead leaves, Peeta's robe puddled around her. It was easier not to be spotted out in the woods even if it meant getting the robe filthy. She didn't want her father's comfort. She didn't want Annie's wild turkey soup. And more than anything she didn't want Coin's assurances that everything would work out for the best.

She picked at a patch of burned grass and examined it as it crumbled in her fingers. A shadow passed over her hand.

"You could really use a bath."

"You could really mind your own business," she shot back.

Haymitch squatted down next to her. "Your father's been looking for you. He asked me to find you. Make sure you're okay."

She laughed joylessly. "I'm just perfect, aren't I? Go and tell him things are wonderful. My husband's dead and I can be whatever Face of the Future he wants me to be."

"Stop it!" Haymitch yelled at her. He saw her jump. "Sorry," he muttered. He took a deep breath. He struggled to meet her eye. "Aurelius called for you."

She froze. "When?"

"This morning. He's headed out here. He wanted to make sure you were still here; thought maybe you'd left after…the strike."

"What did he say?"

"Nothing," Haymitch answered. "Those phone lines are terrible; it cut out before I could ask him what it was about."

"Haymitch," she whispered. "I can't go on that stage and receive his body."

"You don't know it's that," he murmured. "It's only been two weeks. If he's in the hospital he could be unable to call. If he's not awake or lost his badge our doctors wouldn't know who he was."

She nodded dumbly.

"Look," he inhaled. "I'm sorry about the woods. It's your life. My regret has nothing to do with you."

Anger flared up like a bomb. "I didn't have an Affair!" She stood up and shoved his shoulder so he fell. "You can believe whatever the hell you want to believe. I'm going to wait for my husband or his body until I die too."

She took off running for her cabin. She was running so fast she nearly topped over when she stopped short outside.

Someone had written her name in neat handwriting. "Everdeen".

She kicked open the door and stormed into the kitchen. She yanked open drawer after drawer, letting things fall onto the floor as she searched. Finally she found the small piece of chalk she sought, filled her hand with water from the spigot and went back to the door. She smeared the name from the door and in her childish, sloppy handwriting spelled "Mellark" in its place. She slammed the door shut and stomped back to the living area.

She threw herself on her living room floor, wrapped in Peeta's robe tight around her, and pressed her face onto the cool couch cushions to muffle her screams.

Someone knocked at the door. She didn't move.

The door scraped open and footsteps crossed the threshold. "Katniss?"

She rolled her face to see Gale looking at the messy door with his eyebrows raised.

"Coin's ready to push him into a fucking grave," she slurred into sofa seat.

Gale sighed and moved to sit next to her head on the sofa. "I think your father wrote that, actually. He liked that you wanted to use his name. That you wanted to…be his daughter, that's all," Gale said apologetically. "They haven't given up hope."

"I think he matched Peeta to me so he could sacrifice him."

Gale looked at her sharply. "Katniss, that's an awful thing to say."

"It's not impossible, is it? He had Haymitch fix the matches. He knew Peeta loved me. He knew he'd die for me; Chaff must have told him about our escape and how he looked out for me. That's what they were talking about the night of the bonfire. You know it."

He had to drop her glare. "I-I guessed, but Katniss. To take him there just to die?"

She huffed with exasperation. "Well, not to die. But with the real possibility of death. Because even if he died, at least I'd be free." She stopped. "That's all either of them wanted. Dad and Peeta. For me to be happy."

She gulped, averting her eyes. "He wanted me to marry you."

Gale exhaled slowly. "Yeah, I know. My dad told me so much."

"He…They hoped you'd leave Johanna for me. Be the symbol of the new freedom to take what you want. No regrets."

Gale nodded. Katniss watched him. "I told Haymitch you wouldn't leave your kids," she said finally.

He said nothing.

"Gale?"

"I did think about it, Katniss. When my dad kept talking about how the Contracts would end, and when I saw you again here. I do sometimes think about you that way. I did back in Twelve, too."

"Oh," she said lamely. "I had always thought you loved Madge. But she thought you loved Johanna. You just weren't willing to admit it to her. To spare Madge's feelings."

"I do love Johanna," Gale interjected. He caught himself and blushed. "Sorry, that's the first time I've told anyone that."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad to hear that."

He nodded. "It's not that I don't love you too, Katniss. You're an amazing woman. I love you differently than I do Johanna. I think…" he shook his head. "I want to stay with her and the kids," he finished.

Katniss nodded. She wondered if she should be disappointed, but she couldn't feel too much of anything anymore. They sat in silence for a short while.

"Gale?"

"Yes?"

"Do you think he's still alive?"

"It's possible. Dad says there are hundreds of rebels still coming home every day."

"But do _you_ think he's alive?" she asked, cornering him.

Gale eyed her. "I think he'd do everything he could to come home to you."

She smiled, tears welling back up. "Thank you."

He leaned down to wrap his arms around her and held her tight. "Katniss?"

"Hmmm?"

"You could really use a bath."

She was hiding behind the hastily erected replacement operations tent near the train tracks, trying to avoid the incoming rebel leaders still trickling in at this late afternoon hour. They were arriving in droves for the televised turnover of government in three days. Her father had begged and pleaded with her to meet them by his side. She wondered if it was to show her off or to get her out of the house. She had lasted an hour beside him before she made an excuse and escaped outside.

She wished she was wearing Peeta's robe again, but Gale had stolen it to wash while she was in the bath. It hurt to think when she got it back it would smell like soap and not flour and cocoa powder. She wanted to be angry, but she knew he meant well. So she just let it hurt.

She heard voices approaching and she darted off towards the woods nearer the train station. Walking through the trees, the icy breeze played with her loose hair. A flash of white passed her nose and she stopped to look up. The snow had just begun. She held her face to the sky, feeling like she was rising from the ground, wishing she could float away to where the snow came from. As her neck started to ache, she finally looked down to the squeal of old brakes emanating from the train station.

A pleasant faced middle-aged man was standing with Chaff as they helped a scrawny young man in a soldier's uniform off the hand cart she had arrived on. The soldier leaned forward they each took one of his shoulders and lifted him down. As the older man took a crutch from the cart and handed it to the young man, she recognized Dr. Aurelius. The doctor helped the young soldier situate the crutch under his armpit. She looked at the soldier beside him.

Her breath caught in her throat. His face was drawn and looked wan. His hair was limp, but still shone gold in the afternoon sun.

"Peeta?" she tried to call his name, but nothing came out. She tried again. "Peeta!"

On the third try she was able to make sound. It was faint, but he heard her. His eyes jerked up from the ground. "Katniss?" he looked around for the source of the voice, spinning while Aurelius tried to keep him from falling.

Her feet took off. She was running as fast as she could, calling his name as she ran. He began to move towards her, far slower than she but with the same determination. When she reached him, she knocked him down. The crutch went flying as she clung to him, desperately running her hands over his face, arms, hair, his chest trying to see if he was real.

"Shhhh," he whispered, "I'm here. It's okay."

"I thought, I thought…" she choked.

He pulled back to look in her eyes. "I promised."

He leaned down and kissed her softly. She tasted his tears mixed with hers.

They stayed locked together for a long time, until Dr. Aurelius finally had to nudge them.

"Come on, you two," Dr. Aurelius urged with a smile. "The ground is wet and freezing and neither of you are near the hospital anymore." He leaned down and pulled Katniss to her feet and they both offered Peeta their hands. When he was up, she saw the braces of the false leg slipping inside his boot as the doctor retrieved his crutch.

She gasped and bent down to touch his leg. "Oh, Peeta," she mourned.

He lowered his eyes. "It's not so bad," he attempted. "The doctor says I won't need the crutch forever. Just until I'm used to this leg."

"It doesn't matter," she said, standing and looking him in the eye. "It brought you back. That's all that matters." He nodded uncertainly.

She took his arm as they walked to the village center.

He stopped a few hundred yards from the huddle of tents. "Why are there so many people here?" he asked, eyeing the flurry of movement.

"They're broadcasting the government turnover here," Katniss told him. "The strike leaders have been coming in all week. I think it's in three days."

"Can we go to the house instead?" he asked. "I don't want-" he glanced at his leg. "I need to rest."

She nodded and they circled back around the rear of the tent.

"Katniss!"

She looked over her shoulder and saw Gale running around the tent to meet her. "Have you seen-" He froze. "'Peeta? Is that you?" He was staring at the crutch and Peeta's leg, and Katniss could see Peeta's ears flush red.

"Yeah, I just got back," he muttered.

"Wow," Gale breathed. "Glad to see you. Welcome home," he offered.

"Thanks."

"Katniss, have you seen Johanna? She was supposed to be here by now."

"Not yet. Sorry."

"Okay. I'll, um, ee you later." Gale gave her and Peeta a quick smile and then jogged back to the village center to look for his Spouse and children.

They had just started moving again when she heard her name again. "Katniss!"

"Dammit," she muttered. "I'm sorry, Peeta."

"It's okay," he murmured back.

The party turned again to see Donnel approaching, his eyes wide. "Mellark?"

"Sir." Peeta attempted to salute, but the crutch made him unsteady.

"Good to see you, man," Donnel smiled sympathetically, clapping him on the shoulder. "It was touch and go there. I wasn't certain we'd meet again." Peeta nodded.

Donnel waited for some reply, but continued when he didn't get one. "Come on inside the tent, I want to introduce you around."

"Dad, we were going to let him rest for a little while," Katniss interrupted, seeing the discomfort on Peeta's face.

"It will just take a minute," Donnel pleaded. "We need the full debrief for the official historical record. I want to recognize you in the ceremony."

"Really, Everdeen, he needs a break. It's been a long trip," Dr. Aurelius said.

"Five minutes? He's a hero, you know."

"It's okay," Peeta said. He turned to Katniss. "I'll see you very shortly." He smiled.

"Hurry home."

She watched him slowly make progress with her father circling the tent, a smile playing at her lips. They reached the edge and she saw Coin appear with something to hand to her father, but freeze with shock as she saw Peeta. She recovered and appeared to offer a welcome greeting and let Donnel and Peeta pass as she watched them. Her eyes lifted and she caught Katniss' stony glare. She smirked and disappeared.

"You're looking a little lean, Mrs. Mellark," Dr. Aurelius' voice intoned from behind her. She spun around. "Are you all right?"

"I haven't heard that name in a long time," she murmured. She smiled up at him. "I think I like it."

He smiled back. "Would you show me to the medical tent?"


	5. Chapter 5: Betrayal

I LOVE these reviews and predictions! I'm glad everyone is having so much fun with this one. Well, a lot of you guessed things would get worse before they got better…and of course they will. I live for that. Angst ahoy!

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

**Betrayal**

"Finnick! Katniss raced across the village center from the medical tent to the handsome young man speaking with Annie.

"Katniss!" he held open his arms and caught her in a hug.

"You're all right! I'm so glad to see you," she said breathlessly.

"I was second wave, I'm all right," he laughed. "They were so caught off guard, once the first strike was through there was hardly anything to do. The Capital guards never expected we'd have the numbers we did.

And, young lady, I heard about what you did. That was foolish. You could have been killed," he grinned at her.

"I'm far too stubborn to get killed," she smirked.

"Where's Peeta?" Annie asked. Katniss looked over and saw she was not sharing their mirth.

"He's meeting with my father," Katniss said, furrowing her brow. "Why?"

"Have you spoken with him?" Annie's voice was tense and set Katniss' nerves on end.

"He just got back…I saw him at the train station." Finnick was now looking at her in the same troubling way. "What's going on?"

Annie looked away guiltily. "It's just…I thought you'd want…someone there might say something."

Her veins now filled with ice. "What do you mean, Annie?"

"It's none of our business, Ann," Finnick admonished. "I'm sorry, Katniss. I know things are going to be confusing when they dissolve the Contracts. It's nothing we should be giving you advice on."

"Finnick, please! What are you two talking about?"

The young couple exchanged a glance. "We heard about you and Gale. And it's fine, it really is!" Annie rushed, smiling uncomfortably. "It's your choice now. But I think you should tell Peeta before they destroy the Contracts."

Katniss fought nausea. "What did you hear?"

Annie looked to Finnick. "About him…staying with you. Really, Katniss, it's fine, it's just-"

She was running to the tent before he finished his sentence.

She flung open the main flap of the new tent and ducked inside, her eyes searching frantically. There were a few recent arrivals remaining and their eyes caught her wild expression. She pushed her way through to the young private seated at the desk, checking in visiting diplomats.

"Where's my father?"

"Probably back in the debrief area," he said, barely glancing up from a towering stack of paperwork.

She pushed her way back to the hallway where she and Gale had first crept into the debrief room. The sides of the walls no longer matched and the ground was still scorched in places. She burst through the doorway like a cork, glaring in annoyance. She yanked the tent flap down behind her to silence the din in the hall and reception.

She spotted her father in the corner and called to him. He stepped to the side and turned.

She started to speak, but she then spotted Peeta standing behind him. His face told her he knew.

"I'll give you a minute," her father mumbled uncomfortably, gently patting Katniss' shoulder and slipping out of the tent flap.

They both stood silently for a moment.

"Peeta," she breathed, tears slipping from the corners of her eyes. She wanted to run and hold him and have him hold her back but he had erected a wall keeping her away. "You can't -"

"I should finish the debrief," he muttered, and moved past her to the door as quickly as he could with the crutch. He fumbled to lift the flap with one had while gripping the crutch.

"Peeta!" she screamed.

A few remaining faces in the exposed hallway turned at the sound of her outburst. Peeta turned back into the room and let the flap fall back down.

"You believe them, don't you?" she gasped, trying to stop the tears.

"What the hell am I supposed to believe, Katniss?" he cried in anguish. "You tell me you want me to come home, but the next night you're in bed with him!" He turned away and covered his red eyes.

"Nothing happened!"

"Why was he even there? Why was he in our bed?" Peeta was yelling.

"I missed you. I didn't to be alone," she cried, inching towards him desperately. She reached out to touch him arm and he pushed her hand away.

"Don't," he warned.

She dropped her hands to her sides and let the tears fall. She had no idea anything could hurt as much as this moment.

"I know…I know I wasn't your choice," he started carefully. He gave her a stern look to silence her attempted objection. "And I know your father wants you to choose Gale. I know Coin thinks it will be good for the free citizens of Panem to see that they can live the life they want without guilt," he measured. "But I thought," a hint of pain entered his voice, "that you would at least tell me to my face you were leaving me." He turned his face away from her as he cried.

"Peeta," she mewled, her fingers were itching to grab on to him and make him stay in this room with her until he forgave her and held her. She was gulping for air in between sobs. "I didn't-" Her fingers brushed his coat sleeve and he jerked away.

"I've got work to do," he sniffed unsteadily, wiping his face and turning back to the flap.

"Don't leave," she pleaded as he raised the flap. She saw her father watching them in the hallway.

Peeta looked back. "I didn't leave, Katniss."

Peeta turned finally and Donnel held the flap for him to exit, leaving Katniss alone with her emptiness.

She gripped the edge of a desk, her fingernails boring into the scorched wood. She wanted to scream and run after him. But she didn't.

She heard her father's voice returning, calling her name softly, and she ran to the tent wall, pulling up the edge and rolling under into the early evening. She ran as hard as she could back to her house and slammed the door.

She slipped over to the table and sat down. She looked around. Everything looked in place, nothing seemed strange. But there was no bread on the counter. And Peeta was not going to come and sit at the table with her. He wouldn't be in the bed, keeping her warm against the winter night. She laid her head down on the table and let the sobs come.

For a moment she was back in the Capital. The pounding on the door was a Peacekeeper in white uniform, there to drag her to her death. Peeta was in the foyer, in front of the door, watching them take her impassively. Her hands reached out to him, begging for help, but his lifeless eyes watched her like glass. The pounding continued and continued, even as she was ripped from their townhome.

She opened her eyes and looked around. She had fallen asleep on the table and her neck ached. Someone was knocking at the door by her ear. She felt it must be late, but had no idea how long she had been asleep. She stumbled from the chair, tripping on a leg and reaching for the door clumsily.

She hadn't expected to see him. "Peeta!" she exclaimed in surprise.

He was looking at his name on their door in her handwriting. He shook his head and turned to her. "Didn't mean to wake you," he said.

"No, no, it's okay. I'm glad you came back," she said, breaking into a desperate smile. She stepped aside to let him in, and he limped inside, the crutch thumping against the wooden floor.

"I just came to get my bread pans," he said blankly, gesturing to a canvas bag he was holding. "I need to cook for some of the families whose cabins burned."

"Won't you stay?"

"I don't think so."

"This is your home," she pleaded.

He looked pained and heaved past her to the kitchen.

She stood a few feet away from him, watching him pack up the simple tools the soldiers had procured for him. She didn't know how to make him stay.

"Peeta?"

He glanced up.

The knocking at the door startled her and she jerked away. Peeta moved, but she said, "No, I'll get it."

Johanna's face was set hard and her jaw locked her lips into a thin tight line. "Katniss." The word was clipped as it left her mouth, full of venom.

"Johanna! When did you get here?"

The woman ignored her. "I wanted to return this to you. I found it with my Spouse's things at my tenement. Unless you want it back," she turned to Peeta, thrusting a folded garment in her hands.

Katniss recognized Peeta's robe in her hands. The one Gale had taken to wash when she was bathing and hadn't yet returned. Katniss looked back and forth between Peeta's stricken face and Johanna's rage. "He took it to wash," she struggled to explain. "I was wearing it outside...it got dirty-"

"Do you need a place to stay?" Johanna ran over Katniss' words, ignoring her and looking at Peeta.

"Yes, please," he breathed, limping over to the door.

"Peeta!" Katniss bleated as he stomped out the door. She caught his arm and he nearly fell. "I didn't betray you. Please believe me!"

"Katniss," he murmured, gently pushing her off of him. "I can't...," he sighed in agony, and moved as fast as he could into the night.

Johanna's eyes watched Katniss as he brushed past her. "Johanna," she began, tears started fresh.

"I hate you," Johanna replied, and threw the robe on the floor and slammed the door in her face.

She sat limp on her living room floor again, Peeta's robe draped over her. She hadn't bothered to light a fire. He was back and now further away than ever.

Gale had come by fifteen minutes after they'd gone, his face swollen with tears asking if Katniss had seen her. Johanna had heard the rumors, too. She'd arrived with Ash and the babies that very morning, and within minutes of landing she somehow had the story. Gale said she'd asked Annie to watch the children and then took him out into the woods to scream at him. He had told her the truth, nothing had happened, but the pain was too much and she'd asked him to stay with his father while she figured out what to do. He had barely seen the babies and was miserable.

A knock at the door went unanswered. She half-hoped it was Johanna back to kill her.

She raised her head to watch the door, but didn't call out. It pushed open, like it always did.

"You still look like shit." Haymitch eyed her unkempt hair and odd clothing.

"What the fuck do you want?"

"Hadn't seen you or Gale around. Thought I'd check in on my star soldiers."

"We're just as you wanted. Abandoned by our better halves," she said miserably. "You can go away and congratulate yourself now."

"That's actually why I'm here," inhaled Haymitch, nudging her away from the sofa so he could sit down.

"I didn't really invite you in," she said pointedly.

"I don't really care. I know who told Peeta and Johanna that Gale was sleeping here."

She sat up. "It wasn't you?" she was genuinely surprised.

He looked angry with her. "That was your business to deal with, no one else's."

"I just thought…You told Annie something," she fought. "Back in training."

"I told her to keep an eye on you because I thought Coin was screwing with you and Gale. Trying to confuse you."

"Coin."

"Yeah," Haymitch said, running a hand through his thinning hair.

"She told them we were betraying them." Haymitch nodded. "Why?"

He laughed joylessly. "What do you do in a war when one side isn't winning? You get the other side to retreat."

He saw she didn't follow. "You weren't going to leave Peeta. So she had to get him to leave you. And if she got Johanna to leave, maybe Gale would come to you…and there you have it. The Faces of the Future just in time for a televised takeover."

She stared at him.

"I'll kill her."

Haymitch sat back and sighed deeply. "You can't really judge her too harshly, Katniss. The Contract system cost her an eye and half of her face," he said sadly. "You were really lucky." Katniss still fumed.

"If your match had been like Madge's, would you be this angry?"

Katniss closed her eyes and saw the flames leap from Madge's body. "No," she whispered.

"And Gale's really lucky too. So yeah, you'd be a great face for the rebellion except that you're already in love. It's just a coincidence that it's your Contracted Spouse."

Katniss considered the weight of the sentence. She loved Peeta. She hadn't imagined such a thing would be hers in her lifetime, but now the truth of it all enveloped her and expanded to fill the whole room. This is what Peeta felt for her. Or, did.

"But he doesn't love me back," she realized, her momentary hope shattering.

Haymitch actually smiled at her genuinely. "That's the thing about love, sweetheart. Someone you love can – and will hurt you. More than you imagined possible," he said. "But you can't stop loving them. When it's real, it's forever." For a moment she saw the young man who had been so desperately in love with Scarlett Donner he risked his life and family for her.

She looked up at him. "I don't know what to do."

He met her eyes. "You do whatever it takes."

She was looking for him but found her father in the ops center.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said sadly, embracing her gently. "How are you feeling?"

She shook her head, her mouth a determined line. "Have you seen him?"

"He's inside. We're reviewing the order of ceremony for tomorrow. There's a little disagreement over whether we're going to have a demonstration."

She heard shouts start up inside, and he turned his head. "I better get back in there. I'll come by your tenement later, we'll have dinner."

She nodded, but as he pulled back the flap she saw Peeta arguing with a group of older soldiers. When she heard Gale's voice, she followed her father inside.

The central meeting room was filled to capacity and she squeezed in along the edge of the room. Haymitch was calling for order, but the fifty plus men and women were in heated debate.

"It's not like it matters!" a stranger yelled over the din. The crowd quieted to hear what he was saying. "The database was destroyed; they've already dissolved."

"I'm not arguing that," Peeta fired back. "I'm arguing that you have no idea what you're destroying now. You don't know any of the people whose names are on those papers and what it means to them."

"I do," Gale shouted. "I know Madge Undersee's name, and so do you. You don't want to see that burned?"

"They weren't all like that Gale, and you for one know it."

"Stop being so selfish!" Gale yelled. "This isn't about you and Katniss!"

Peeta's face went white and the room turned to stony silence except for Katniss' gasp. Peeta saw her just as Gale turned around to see her.

She felt all the eyes in the room burning into her flesh. Donnel turned and saw her behind him. "You two-" he gestured to Peeta and Gale. "Out. You're too close to this."

Peeta was already shuffling to the door flap leading to the hallway, whipping his crutch around him as quickly as he could manage. Gale stomped out past Katniss to the exit, muttering, "Sorry" as he left.

Donnel turned to dismiss Katniss, but she ran after Peeta down the hall. He turned into an office and she followed him in.

"It's about Madge," she pleaded, startling him. "Gale watched her burn, Peeta. It has nothing to do with you and me."

"You and him," Peeta corrected.

"There is no me and him."

"Katniss," he sighed, sinking to lean on the scorched desk in the room. "You don't-"

"I'm not going to let you leave me." She was surprised to hear the words when they left her mouth.

He glanced up sharply. "What?"

"I'm not going to let you leave me. I'm not going to let you give up on me," she felt panic rising inside her like the morning she learned he was going into battle. "He never replaced you. I didn't betray you. You are still my husband and I am going to do whatever it takes to keep it that way."

He stared at her, trying to recognize this new person she'd become. She didn't miss the fearful, assimilated person she'd try to be in the Capital. She hoped he didn't either.

She flinched as Peeta had to close his eyes and look away. "It's a little late for that now. Your father destroyed the central Contract database in the Capital. And tomorrow they're going to burn the remaining paper contracts." He was watching her.

"That's what you were arguing for?"

"Against."

Tears stung her eyes as she smiled. "To save our contract?"

He stood up and balanced his crutch. "To save Johanna's. She's pregnant."

He turned and hobbled out.


	6. Chapter 6: Victory

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

**Victory**

She sat on her couch, knees pulled to her chest, eyes on her kneecaps. Maybe he'd run out of clean clothes and have to come back again. She could take the crutch and force him to stay. _Cruel,__but__practical,_she thought.

But it was getting late. And he wasn't coming. She'd have to go to him. He had to know she didn't know about the fourth child. And he had to know she couldn't give up.

She laced her boots tighter than comfortable and pulled on her coat. She shut the door and looked at his name on the door, gathering her courage.

Turning, she marched across the circle center, grateful the dark hid her from prying eyes. She practiced what she'd say, how she'd apologize, how she'd make him come home with her. How she'd duck and run if Johanna opened the door with a knife. She counted her steps, willing each foot forward. She was so engrossed in her thoughts she didn't see the person heading right towards her until she bumped right into her.

"Oh, excuse me," Katniss mumbled, moving to step around.

"Private Everdeen. Out so late?"

Katniss froze and turned to the voice. "Coin."

Her trainer smiled at her. "Glad to see your wounds are healing-"

"I should kill you!" Katniss growled, lurching at her and making Coin jump back. "You told Peeta and Johanna that Gale and I were sleeping together! They think we were having an Affair!"

"I told them the truth," Coin smirked, standing her ground. "I don't see I'm in the wrong."

"We were sleeping!"

"Not in the guard tower."

It felt like a punch in the stomach. Of course she had seen. She and Haymitch were awake and fully dressed when she saw them that night. Coin had probably been watching them to make sure they didn't fall asleep. She had seen her kiss Gale.

"That was nothing. And none of your business."

"Oh drop it, you stupid girl," Coin snapped, shaking off her strained smile. "What's wrong with you? Do you know how many sacrifices have been made for this victory? I haven't seen my own children in a over a year and my mother endangers her life to care for them!"

Katniss swallowed hard. She could barely see through her rage.

Alma Coin continued barraging her. "Your father has risked his life for years trying to take down the system that did this to us. And you're not even going to give his vision a chance."

"It's his vision! It's your wish! It's my life!" Katniss screamed. Her voice hit the facades of the houses around her. Lights clicked on in a few of the houses, but she didn't care.

"This is my life you're screwing with! Gale's family you're ruining! My husband risked his life to help you, is that not enough? If you're so damned set on freedom, let us have what we want!"

Coin glowered at her. "Haymitch was right after all. You are an ungrateful bitch."

As it turned out, Haymitch was a better trainer. Coin didn't see the punch coming until it caught her in the right cheekbone. She stumbled backward and placed a hand on her stunned face. Katniss panted, surprised at herself but secretly very pleased. Until Coin came back at her.

She hit Katniss in the ribs and again near her left eye before Haymitch reached them, shouting at Coin to back off and pulling her away from Katniss' scratching hands.

"Coin, that's enough!" he yelled, yanking her back.

"You're the enemy!" Coin spat at Katniss. "You and Hawthorne might as well have fought for the Capital!"

"Alma, stop it," Haymitch hissed. "People are listening." He released her but left a firm hand on her upper arm. Katniss kept her eyes locked on her.

"Fine," Coin said, calming herself and smoothing her jacket. "She's not worth it anyway."

Haymitch eyed Katniss, then pulled Coin away with him as they left.

Katniss finally looked around. A number of civilians were looking out of their windows; some were standing in their doorways.

Peeta was standing outside watching her.

She locked eyes with him. This had not been part of her prepared speech. She thought she ought to say something. She opened her mouth, but no words came.

He furrowed his brow in thought, and limped back inside Johanna's (Gale's) cabin. Through the window she saw Johanna moving to him, her mouth moving impatiently and her eyes insistent. She lost view of them as they stepped away from the grimy window.

"Katniss!" Winze and Donnel were hurrying over to her. "Are you all right?" her father asked.

"What was that all about?" asked Winze.

Katniss didn't answer. Gale was inside the window of his father's tenement. She met his eyes and gave a small shrug. He smiled a proud little smile at her and turned away. She nodded back ever so slightly. She looked back to her father.

"Just something I had to do," she sighed, and walked back to her cabin alone.

She saw Dr. Aurelius and Haymitch helping Peeta up the stairs to the first of two rows of chairs set up on the left side of the stage set up in their meager village center. The government takeover was due to be televised in just 15 minutes. Reporters and videographers swarmed about, setting up lights and microphones. Soldiers checked each other's uniforms and straightened their lapels. She moved over to where her father stood, watching Peeta ascend.

"You're putting him on display," she said, not sure if it was a question or statement.

Donnel turned around, beaming. "He's a hero."

"You want me to leave him in front of everyone."

Donnel opened his mouth, then closed it again. She looked at him, unwavering, demanding the truth.

"I…I did want that. For a long time."

"He doesn't deserve that."

"I know. He saved my life in the Capital."

"What?"

Donnel turned back. "When we got into the President's service kitchen, there was a bodyguard we didn't anticipate in there. Probably just there for a midnight snack, really. He must have heard us and was crouched behind a counter. Peeta saw him before I did. Got in the way and took a butcher knife to the leg."

She looked over to her Spouse as Haymitch gripped his shoulder and said something to him she couldn't hear. She felt her father watching her.

"Katniss," Donnel began. "My Contract was not like yours. Your mother is a wonderful person, and I was incredibly fortunate to have two amazing daughters with her. But she never loved me. She couldn't. She knew love with someone else." He sighed. "And no Contract can change that."

"I love him, Dad."

"I can see that," he smiled. "Katniss, I want you to be happy. On your own terms. Not the Capital's, not Peeta's and most of all, not mine."

"Then why did you let Coin lie to him?"

"I didn't tell her to lie."

"Then you didn't tell her not to."

She had wounded him. "I. I –" he stuttered. "I thought…I thought I was helping. You were so frightened when you got here, so dependent. I thought you need a push. To make a choice."

She looked at her father closely. She struggled to remember the last time they were together.

It would have been five years ago. She would be eleven; Prim seven. Still small enough to dance on his toes as their mother sang. Two small girls against a system designed to hurt them. She considered herself in his place. Then Peeta. "I know you did. But I'm not afraid anymore. And I need you trust me that I know what makes me happy."

He smiled at her. "You have your mother's grace. I'm glad you're not all me, Katniss."

A trumpet blast made them both jump. "It's time to start," he announced, and climbed the stairs.

She moved to sit next to Peeta, but an attendant pointed Katniss to a spot next to where Gale was settling on the opposite right side of the stage. She gave Donnel a look of disappointment, but he gave her a helpless shrug in return. The seats next to Peeta filled with soldiers from the first wave, Winze, and Chaff. Deflating, she sat next to Gale and the scouts who defended the base. Peeta glanced over and she met his gaze before he quickly looked away and down. She was about to call to him when Gale brushed her arm.

"There are the twins, Petiole and Auger," he whispered, pointing to Johanna in front of the stage next to Finnick and Annie. She was holding a sleeping child in each arm, circles under her eyes from anxiety. Ash fidgeted next to her and Annie shushed him quietly. Johanna looked sharply towards where Gale and Katniss were sitting, then away and pressed her lips together.

"Lucky those kids got her looks," Haymitch's voice intruded from behind as he joined them on stage. "That older kid's gonna get stuck looking like you."

Gale glared at him. Katniss glanced back at the empty chair behind her. She hoped bitterly Coin's absence was a direct order.

Donnel cleared his throat and Katniss saw he'd walked to the center of the stage in front of the cameras. Little red lights were popping up on their displays and she realized they must be recording. She suddenly felt very self-conscious and wondered if she had smoothed her hair or checked her teeth recently. Her fingers brushed the pale purple bruise by her eye that makeup didn't quiet obscure. She fondly wondered what Cinna would have said at the devolvement of her looks.

"Today is a new day in Panem," Donnel began in a clear, cool voice. "The old ways of Dictatorship and Decadence in the Capital crushing the Poverty of the Districts is over. Today we are equal. Today we are free."

A cheer went up from the crowd gathering at the foot of the stage. Donnel tried to calm it, but it went on and on. Katniss forced a smile for the cameras. Her mind was racing. She looked across at Peeta. He was looking back at her.

"Today is a day when I can stand up here with heroes – " Donnel gestured to the group of soldiers and Peeta on his left " – and family." His arm swept to Katniss' group.

"This is what we fought for. Our right to know ourselves. I am proud to say I fought and won for the freedom of my daughters." The audience cheered again.

Donnel turned to Katniss and held out his hand, gesturing for her to join him in the center of the stage. Alarm jolted through her. She stood shakily and took uneven steps toward her father. He caught her hand and took a few steps towards the back of the stage with her.

"I'm so sorry, Katniss," he whispered, ducking his mouth to her ear while an attendant brought forth a pack of papers and handed them to Donnel. "We planned it this way. I should have told you. If you want me to take care of it, just nod." Katniss looked at the papers unblinking, wondering they looked so familiar. Donnel was eyeing her carefully, as though judging her reaction. She couldn't offer one. He raised the papers in the air.

"We recovered these from the main Justice Building. These are the Contracts for this year, for all of Panem. We've destroyed their databanks, but these are the symbol of a system that cost far too many people…far too many children…their freedom."

Katniss found terror. Her Contract to Peeta was somewhere in the thick stack in her father's hand.

Two attendants brought a large shallow metal barrel up on the stage. Donnel dumped the papers into the bin. He pulled a small ornate lighter from his pocket.

He turned to Katniss, the lighter cupped in his hand. She met his eyes. He was trying to see what she wanted him to do. She didn't know the answer.

"I stand here with my daughter, Katniss Everdeen, to demonstrate the end of this terrible era," Donnel stalled, searching for what to do if she didn't respond.

She looked down at the contracts and saw the names of the Spouse on the form on top. _Adelaide__Cartwright__and__Thresh__Haselwood.___She reached down and picked up the paper, remembering Delly's sweet smile. The crowd had fallen silent, watching her. She wondered where Delly was right now. If she was watching her. If she was happy. If she was holding a little child just like Ash in her lap while Tresh sat beside her.

She looked at the next Contract. _Margaret__Undersee__and__Cato__Junius._

She dropped Delly's back on the pile and picked up the next, her fist shaking. She brushed her thumb over Madge's name tenderly. She took the lighter from Donnel's hand. A call for her to burn the Contracts went up from the back of the audience, and others joined in sporadically. She looked out over the sea of faces. She looked over and saw Johanna's red eyes. Gale's downcast eyes. She turned to look at Peeta; his face distorted in pain. She offered him a sorrowful smile.

She looked down at the next page on the pyre. She swallowed hard and picked it up.

She took a step to the edge of the stage and spoke.

They couldn't hear her the first time she said it. So she repeated it again. They started to quiet down, seeing her lips move but not hearing her. The cheering died away as they strained to hear her words.

"It's Mellark. Katniss…Everdeen…Mellark."

She could hear the breeze crackling dry branches. The remaining snow crystals scraped along the barren ground. The attendees were looking back and forth at one another, confused. She held up the paper clenched in her fist.

"This is the Contract for my friend Madge. Margaret Undersee. The Girl on Fire." She heard the tears in her voice, wishing she was calm as this was broadcast all over Panem. "She gave her life for what she believed. And she gave me the courage to fight. I wish she was here so I could this for her. But now I do this in honor of her."

She lit the page and held it aloft. It caught and burned. She let it fall on the stage in front of her, blackening and curling into oblivion.

She raised her other hand. "And this is mine."

The crowd fell silent and she heard Donnel's sharp intake of air behind her. She touched Peeta's name on the page and smiled. "I don't need it anymore. The only thing binding me to my husband is that I love him. That's all we need now."

A murmur went up with hesitant applause as she lit the page and turned. She dropped it into the batch of papers. They went up in a blaze.

She turned back. "We do have a choice now," she smiled. "Whoever you are, wherever you are. You don't need these papers to tell you anything."

She heard a chair scrape to her right and she looked over her shoulder. Gale was standing up, his eyes on his wife. He took the few short steps to the edge of the stage and hopped down to embrace a tearful Johanna. The cameras had turned to them. He whispered something in her ear. She nodded and smiled weakly. He picked up Ash and took Petiole from her and they left the gathering.

She looked down at the reporters swarming the foot of the stage. Moving quickly, she swiped a black ink pen from the closest journalist and walked back to Peeta. She held out her wrist to him to reveal where she was marked as his.

D:0 C:C MELLARK STYLIST

She blacked it out as best she could with the pen. She turned slowly to Peeta, frightened and hopeful. She handed him the pen. He took it gingerly.

"You said you would have chosen me before. Would you do it again?" she asked timidly.

"You don't have to do this," he whispered, his nose and ears turning pink as everyone stared.

"I can't be me without you," she begged.

She held her arm out to him and he searched her face.

"I really won't ever give up," she said seriously.

He finally smiled. "Well, if you're going to threaten me…" she half-laughed, half-sobbed with relief as he moved the pen to her wrist and wrote his name in his fat, loopy signature.

She gave him a toothy grin, tears of joy sneaking from her eyes. She grabbed the pen from his hand and pulled his coat sleeve up to reveal his tattoo.

D:0 C:C MELLARK BAKER

She scrubbed over the tattoo with the pen as best she could with her impatience. And in her childish, sloppy handwriting, she wrote her name across his wrist. When she was finished, she threw the pen in the general direction of its owner and wrapped her arms around him.

There was a wave of rather confused applause from the surrounding audience, unsure of what everything they had just seen meant.

Katniss opened her eyes and looked up at her father on the stage and mouthed "Thank you". She took Peeta's hand and led him away from the ceremony as Donnel started on the New Articles of Legislation.

She pushed open the door to the house labeled "Mellark" a short while later and Peeta followed slowly. She closed the door behind them.

He stood by the table, taking in the room. She suddenly felt excitedly anxious again, like a newlywed. Their life in the Capital seemed so far away.

"Did you want some water? Or tea?" she asked, fidgeting.

"Was it for me or for the cameras?" Peeta spun quickly, frantic for an answer.

"What?"

"Did you do this for me? Or did someone put you up to it? Katniss, I have to know. I'm so confused. Your dad told me so many things, and Coin said…I didn't want to hear any of it, I just…"

"I love you."

He breathed in and out deeply.

"I don't ever want you to go away ever again."

He closed his eyes. His body seemed to let go of the tension he carried.

"I want you to go upstairs to bed with me."

He opened his eyes back up. "Katniss-"

"I really, really want to."

She felt like it was their first night again. A second chance. But this time, she was ready.

He was nervous and self-conscious, trying to keep his wounded side away from her. She pulled him close, not letting him hide anything from her. Scars patterned his arms, but his torso was still smooth with fine blond hairs. He flinched when she let her fingers explore the difference between his metal and plastic leg and his skin. She bent down and kissed the joint between the two, loving all of him.

She laid him back on the bed and pulled his underwear off to leave him stripped before her. She yanked off her dress and underclothes and lay on top of him, kissing him deeply and feeling their bare skin touch.

She peppered his face with kisses and let her tongue trace along his chest as she slid down his body. He lifted his head in anticipation to watch her kiss his stomach, peek up and grin at him, then slip down to take him in her mouth.

He swore as he exhaled and arched up against her. She licked up and down, sliding her mouth over him and listening to him moan. Her fingers slipped through the soft curls near her mouth, and they tickled her cheeks. His breathing grew rapid and he started to squirm. She couldn't wait anymore either.

She released him and climbed up over him. The skin of his nose and ears were flushing red and had started to spread over his chest. She felt her own skin burning like she was on fire. Straddling his hips, she reached down and guided herself to him.

The pressure was more delicious than she remembered. She tried to move leisurely, but she wanted to take him all. She lowered herself down slowly, letting him fill her. She moaned and watched his eyes fill with lust. She couldn't wait and started rocking her hips back and forth. She leaned forward and put her hands on his chest for leverage and he seized her hips, moving her harder and faster.

She let cries of pleasure escape her lips and she ground down harder, wanting more and more. Sweat broke out on her forehead and she saw Peeta panting below her.

He sat up and flipped her over, firmly holding her hips to his and landing on top of her on the bed, driving himself deeper inside her. He started moving faster now, and dropped his thumb to massage where they were joined. She felt the dam inside her breaking, but she wasn't afraid of the thing coming to overtake her. She shouted his name and dropped her legs open, letting him entirely inside her as she rode out the surge, shuddering and shaking. She felt the deep, rough thrusts and heard him groan her name before he lowered himself on top of her to rest. He was heavy on her, and she was grateful he was there to keep her from floating away.


	7. Chapter 7: Home

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

**HOME**

When Gale told her he was going to Seven with Johanna, she was almost relieved. She knew how much she would miss him, but she also knew their friendship would never be the same.

"Is her family still there?" she asked.

"We got word her brother was; her sister is planning to come back, too. Her Spouse died in their assault on the port."

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. She wasn't as lucky as we were in our matches," Gale shared. "Heard she tried to smother him with his pillow on their first night."

"You better keep your nose clean if Johanna's anything like her."

He laughed. "You should have seen her in labor with Ash and the twins. Thought she was going to punch me into next week."

Katniss looked at him sideways. "I'll miss you, Gale."

"I'll miss you too. You take care of him. And let him take care of you."

"I will."

"Oh and Katniss?"

"Yeah?"

"It's a girl. We're going to name her Madge."

Coming back to Twelve had been a battle in itself. Dr. Aurelius had wanted Peeta to stay in the Capital so he could monitor his recovery and Donnel had wanted Katniss and Peeta to join him in District Two. But both had wanted to come to their home, and no one could keep them from it anymore.

Still they had to wait two months, until Peeta was able to walk without the crutch. Spring was cropping up in the woods and Katniss would let him walk her to the edge of the woods to go hunting and collect him from his physical training when she returned. She felt more like herself every day. And each night. She had wondered if she should be embarrassed that their neighbors could surely hear them in bed through the thin walls, but she found that in the moment she could never quite care enough to keep quiet.

The day she returned to Twelve with Peeta by her side she felt reborn. Prim and Posy were waiting and the train station and started shrieking as soon as they saw her. As she embraced them, Katniss saw her mother weeping behind them. Farll was there to meet Peeta, along with one of his brothers who had brought a new companion from Three back to Twelve. His other brother, she learned later, had decided to remain with his Spouse and their three children in Eight. Mahra had left a few weeks ago.

Both Larkspur and Farll had campaigned to get the couple to stay with them, but Johanna had given Katniss and Peeta her house keys before she and Gale left. Katniss hoped it in some way signified she had been forgiven.

So they had set up their home in the Merchant district and Peeta had gone back to work with his father, while Katniss went hunting and helped collect herbs for her mother.

It had dawned on Prim one sunny spring day while she and Katniss were laying out in the meadow after dropping off Posy to visit with Hazelle. The little girl still didn't quite understand why she was supposed to live with Mama Hazelle next year instead of Larkspur, but Katniss knew it would take time for her to fully comprehend what had been done to save her life the night she was born.

"Are you and Peeta going to get married?"

Katniss rolled her head to Prim. "We are married."

Prim shrugged. "Not really. I saw you burn the Contracts. And Dad said he destroyed the database. Technically you're not married."

Katniss rolled her face to the sky. "I guess not."

"Are you going to ask him?"

"To marry me?"

"Yeah," Prim was grinning. "I think he'd like that."

Katniss felt a wide smile break across her face. "I think he would too."

After dinner that evening she asked if he'd like to walk to the lake with her the next day. He was due a day off at the bakery anyway, she argued, and it was going to be so lovely outside in the early summer. He agreed wholeheartedly.

The long walk was difficult for him, and she worried with her excitement that she was rushing him. When they reached the rock outcropping on the bank of the lake, she felt her heart was pounding loud enough to scare the fish. She climbed onto the lowest rock and offered her hands as he climbed next to her.

"My father brought me here to learn how to swim," she said, nervously knotting her fingers.

"It's really beautiful out here," Peeta said, eyes on the gently rippling water. "Thank you for bringing me." His eyes found her face. "Are you okay?"

"What?"

"Your face is all red. Are you feeling all right?"

She laughed nervously. "Well, actually. There was something I wanted to ask you."

He moved closer, looking uneasy. A pang of guilt hit her that he was still so unsure she loved him.

She slid her hand over to his and he watched her grasp his fingers.

"Peeta?"

He looked up into her eyes.

"Will you marry me?"

She thought he was going to fall off the rock.

"What?"

"Well," she shrugged timidly, "we're not really married anymore. And…and I want to be married to you. So…will you marry me?"

She felt like time had stopped in the silence that followed as he stared at her, blinking in confusion. Then in an instant he was kissing her and saying one word.

"Yes."

Prim fiddled with the flowers in Posy's hair, straightening the crown of daisies. "How do I look?" the smaller girl asked, twirling in a circle.

"Beautiful," laughed Katniss. "What about me?" she inquired, holding up her arms and twirling too.

"It's so beautiful. I've never seen that color green before," Prim breathed.

"Annie said this color is called ocean glass," Katniss smiled, smoothing her hands over the borrowed dress.

"Do brides wear green?" Posy asked, poking at her belly button through her white cotton dress.

"It says a long time ago they wore white," Katniss frowned, flipping through the cracking ancient book Aurelius had sent her from the Capital when he received her letter. "But I couldn't find anyone with a white dress in Twelve. Stop poking at yourself, Posy."

Prim laughed, "I don't think anything would stay white long with this coal dust anyway."

A hesitant knock came at the door. "Katniss? Girls? Are you ready?" Her mother's face appeared as the door cracked open. She saw Katniss and her face glowed. "You look so beautiful."

Katniss blushed happily.

"Let's get going." Her mother dabbed at her eyes and shooed the girls out the door.

Donnel was waiting at the end of the hall of the Justice Building. Katniss watched him nod a pleasant if not stiff hello to his former wife, and hugged Prim and Posy warmly before guiding them to stand quietly by the door. Never knowing Donnel, it was easier for Posy to call Winze Daddy, but she had seemed confused that Prim said the same of Donnel.

Donnel hugged Katniss. "You're radiant," he beamed.

She giggled in spite of herself. "I'm so nervous."

"What for?"

"What if I forget what to say?"

"You say two words, Katniss. And Mags will be right there to help. If you can figure out what she's saying."

Katniss laughed, but was cut short by the sound of a fiddle playing a simple, sweet song inside the large office they had borrowed for the service. A frantic wave hit her and she struggled to remember the order of the ancient ceremony she had read about. "So Posy, you're going to go first and throw these daisies on the carpet, okay?" Posy nodded and practiced by throwing a flower at Katniss.

"And then Prim, you go ahead of me."

"I know, Katniss." Prim was much calmer. "Just to opposite Peeta and Finnick, I know." She grinned.

"It's time!" cried Donnel excitedly, and urged Posy through the door.

Katniss counted, but Prim gave her an eyebrow and started walking of her own accord.

"Do we go now?"

"Not yet, sweetheart," her father reassured her. "There's a special song."

She peeked through a crack in the door, but could only see the back of heads. "I can't see Peeta," she complained.

"He's there, trust me."

She looked back at him. "Thank you, Dad."

"For what?"

"For coming for my wedding. For agreeing to give me away."

"I'm not giving you away, you know. I'm letting you make your own choice. And," he leaned in conspiratorially; "it's a damn fine choice, if I may say so."

She smiled and they enjoyed the music coming from the room.

"The first wedding in Twelve in over a hundred years. I should have guessed it would be my daughter. Oh! That's your song now."

He led her through the doorway.

She could hear people turning to look at her from their seats circling the room, but her eyes had found the only thing she wanted to see.

Peeta was wearing a cornsilk blue shirt, just like the day of their Reaping. She smiled, remembering how she had worried he'd dislike her in the faded blue dress she had borrowed from her mother. If she'd only known then he'd love her regardless.

Their eyes were locked on one another and she stepped forward easily.

She was glad she had read over the words Mags was now speaking before today; she could only catch about every other word out of the woman's mouth. Her eyes met Peeta's and they both struggled not to laugh at their friends' confused expressions. Finnick standing behind Peeta and making faces at Katniss wasn't helping. Katniss saw Annie shoot him a warning glance from the sofa where she sat with their son and he settled down quickly, giving her a look of mock repentance.

She heard Mags ask something that she was pretty sure was a question. She looked over and the old woman was looking at her expectantly. She looked back to Peeta standing next to her, holding her hands.

"I do."

Mags asked the same unintelligible question and Peeta didn't hesitate. "I do."

Finn let out a squeal and clapped his tiny hands and their guests laughed appreciatively. Mags offered something and they both looked at her, trying to discern their instructions. She was smiling, but offered no insight on what they were supposed to do. Finnick leaned in to Peeta's ear.

"Kiss her, stupid."

And he did.

Her father had told her that years ago, when weddings were a happy occasion, there was always a party to celebrate, but she'd never been to a party outside of Cinna's birthday. She decided, as she kicked off her shoes, that she did like parties after all.

She danced until her feet hurt and then sat to watch and laugh as Peeta danced with Prim and her mother. Posy tried to keep up, but ended up falling asleep under a table. Annie and Finnick handed Mags baby Finn and put the rest of the guests to shame with their beautiful dancing. She felt a tap on her shoulder.

"May I?" Haymitch asked.

"You may," she smiled, letting him lead her to the floor.

They swayed quietly as the musicians played a softer melody.

"Thank you," she whispered to him as they moved.

He raised his eyebrows.

"If you hadn't made me so angry that night in the forest, I don't know if I could have gone back to hold the camp. And for telling me the truth. And for telling Peeta the truth," she said, eyeing him. "I saw you talking to him before the turnover."

He sighed. "Well I figured if you weren't bothering him you'd end up a pain in my ass back here. It was mostly for me." She laughed appreciatively.

"Can I cut in?" Peeta's smiling blue eyes appeared over Haymitch's shoulder.

"Please take her!" he said, handing off his partner.

Katniss sighed happily as Peeta wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. They glided in a small circle, holding one another.

"This is the happiest day of my life," she whispered to his ear.

"Mine, too," he murmured back.

"For now, anyway."

He pulled back and gave her an inquisitive look. "For now?"

"Well, for a few more months," she hinted. Leaning in close to his ear, she whispered her secret. "I'm pregnant."


	8. Chapter 8: A Little Adventure

This AU fic was inspired by the brilliant work of _aimmyarrowshigh_in "Five Loaves of Bread: Dark Toast". .net/s/7294215/1/Five_Loaves_of_Bread_Dark_Toast

This isn't a collaboration or co-written piece, just my spin on a possible continuation of that story that I loved dearly. Takes place three months after the _aim_'s story ends.

(While you're at it, read "Dark Toast" and everything else _aimmyarrowshigh_ has written. They're awesome. For real.)

**Another Little Adventure**

"I'm just asking you not to give her cookies while she's in time out!" Katniss tried to keep her voice low so Cyre wouldn't hear.

"I'm sorry, Katniss, I know we've talked about this before," Peeta conceded. "She just gets so upset, I can't help it."

Katniss closed her eyes and counted to five. "I know, I know. But if you must do it," she said, "you have _got_ to wait until she's out of time out. She can't associate bad behavior with getting rewards or she'll never stop painting on the walls."

Peeta sighed and nodded. He turned and went back into their daughter's room.

Katniss leaned against the doorframe to watch him talk to her. She was too smart for her own good at four years old. She knew her daddy was a total pushover.

Katniss found herself smiling in spite of all that. Every time she watched Cyre with Peeta she had to smile.

The pregnancy had been hard for her. Every time she felt the baby move she clenched in terror, and every time she didn't she worried she had lost her. She thought she had known fear in the war, but this was entirely different. Many times Peeta found her on the bathroom floor at 3am crying and stayed with her until she fell back asleep. He called her mother to stay with her during the day when the nights were particularly awful.

The night Cyre was born changed everything.

Peeta sat next to Katniss on their bed, staring at their daughter until his eyes watered. Katniss felt the minute weight in her arms, in awe at the tiny fingers and round cheeks. She laughed when the tiny brow furrowed in sleep and Peeta laughed until he started hiccupping.

He adored her so much. She remembered finding him day and night at her crib, staring at her waking or sleeping; fascinated by the person they had created.

She was lucky he was up as often as she was for the all-night feedings. He even held Katniss when she couldn't get Cyre to sleep and finally lost it along with the infant. He bawled the first time she skinned her knee learning to walk. And then took over 100 photos until Katniss had to hide the camera. He loved her to pieces and she would never want for anything.

But he really had to stop giving her cookies when she cried over going to time out.

He reappeared at the door. "Okay, she knows no more cookies." He looked bereft.

"I just want to set a good example," Katniss insisted. He nodded.

"Especially for this one," she said. She took his hand and put it on her abdomen. "She's going to have to learn how to share."

It took him a minute to realize what she was saying, but when he did Peeta nearly fell over himself lifting her up in the air to hold her and swing her back and forth, laughing and tripping.

He set her back down and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He leaned down and pressed his forehead to hers, sighing happily.

"Hi," he murmured.

"Hi," she grinned.

"Hi," he laughed.

She pulled him close again and saw her tattoo on her wrist over his shoulder. The word "forever" floated through her mind. And she smiled.

The End


End file.
